SK> This is the problem. Kids are not stupid. If they know that their
 SK> parents "give in" when they are tired, then they will step up their
 SK> insistent nagging and pleas until Mommy or Daddy gives in.
I think some of their teachers do, too.  At least the kids claim it's
so. (But Mr/Ms. So & So lets us watch MTV/have free-time every
day/doesn't make us do work on half-days/lets ten people go to the
restroom at the same time/says we can chew gum & drink sodas during
class/lets us play pencils/doesn't care if we play fight/saw my shirt &
didn't tell me to tuck it in/said these pants were okay (pants are size
40, student is size 22 waist.).............ad nauseum.)
But funny thing, when I touch bases with Mr/Ms. So & So, it almost
always turns out to be just a vicious rumor.
->> earning, or some of the other truly dreadful things my students want
->> to know.
 SK> Oh, I know. The one thing that really bugs me, is that if I'm out from
 SK> school for a day and then return, the students drill me about where I
 SK> was and why I was out. I've usually told them that that is not
 SK> appropriate, and that they could more appropriately say something like,
 SK> "How are you feeling?" or something like that.
You're MUCH kinder than I.  I once asked one insistent soul if he wanted
me to puke on him to prove it.  He didn't take me up on it & backed off.
 SK> I have had students ask me some of those other, more intimate questions
 SK> as well.
Don't it just make ya want to sink into the floor & disappear?  I can
kind of understand them asking if I drink wine, since the textbook
mentions wine as a cultural topic.  After expressing shock that I drink
& acting like I'm breaking some law, then they move on to hangovers & I
feel forced to tell them, "No, I don't drink 'til I puke.  I have a
glass or two of wine with dinner, I don't finish the bottle on my own &
I certainly wouldn't drive afterwards."  I then remind them that it's
*legal* for me to drink, just as I can buy a lottery ticket or drive a
car.  We usually have to have a brief discussion on moderation in all
things.
But some of the other stuff.  I've discreetly mentioned some of the
worst ones to parents at conferences (pregnant & virgin,) so the parents
could do some etiquettish things at home.  A couple I've called home
about or informed the admin about (one sophomore girl who announced
during class that I was supposedly having an affair with a student in
the class.)
 SK> I can understand to a certain extent, students wanting to know if a
 SK> teacher was pregnant or not, since that means they may be getting a
 SK> substitute some months down the line, and that affects them directly.
The ones who've asked me have prefaced it with, "Ms. Payne, have you
gained some weight?  Are you pregnant?"  I didn't wear THAT outfit again
for awhile.
 SK> A month or so into the school year, some of the students in her class
 SK> (Ann and Irazmi) whom I had taught the previous year came to _me_ and
 SK> asked _Me_ if Mrs. M was pregnant. Well, of course I told them "not as
Oh, geez.
 SK> far as I know". I'm not sure if they said so specifically, but somehow
 SK> the allusion to her clothing being loose, and possibly "ma
Mine asked me this year if the two women PE teachers were, ahem, seeing
each other as a couple.  But they used a more graphic word.  One's
married & the other is a happy 40 year old bachelorette, but they said
that being married _doesn't matter._
 SK> week she was gone and we had a new teacher to take her place (her
 SK> husband wouldn't "let" her work, is what I was told).
Sounds like he wouldn't let her alone, either.  Two babies in two years.
 SK> On a related note, at about the same time, my Dept. Head came to me
 SK> (privately) and said "I have to ask you something..."
 SK> He wanted to know if _I_ was pregnant (I'd been wearing a lot of loose,
Oooh, my school law prof would have had a field day with this one.  This
could have been handled MUCH more discreetly.  I don't know how I would
have reacted.  I'd like to think I would have told him that if he did
remember who it was, he'd let that person know that spreading gossip
isn't encouraged by him.
 SK> smock-like dressed, but I hadn't put on any weight!) and he said that
 SK> someone else in the department had asked him and (how convenient) he
 SK> couldn't remember who it was. That kind of bugged me. Like I wouldn't
I can only imagine how I would react.  I think I would have let him know
that I didn't appreciate being the topic of gossip, especially gossip
that was incorrect.
 SK> tell my employer so that they would have enough time to find a
 SK> replacement for me?
YOU feel that way, _I_ feel that way, but we had a few teachers in the
past couple of years just take off in the middle of the year with no or
very little notice & in a couple of cases, just strung the principal
along about when/whether they would be back.  A couple were so
unprofessional I felt that the district would have been justified in
going after their certificates.
Leona Payne
... Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
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