BASIC RULES FOR CATS WHO HAVE A HOUSE TO RUN
                        Part Two
PLAY:  This is an important part of your life.  Get enough sleep
in the daytime so you are fresh for your nocturnal games.  Below are
listed several favorite cat games that you can play.  It is important
though to maintain one's Dignity at all times.  If you should have an
accident during play, such as falling off a chair, immediately wash a
part of your body as if to say "I MEANT to do that!"  It fools those
humans every time.
Favorite Cat Games:
  "Catch Mouse":  The humans would have you believe that those
  lumps under the covers are their feet and hands.  They are
  lying.  They are actually Bed Mice, rumored to be the most
  delicious of all the mice in the world, though no cat has ever
  been able to catch one.  Rumor also has it that only the most
  ferocious attack can stun them long enough for you to dive
  under the covers to get them.  Maybe YOU can be the first to
  taste the Bed Mouse!
  "King of the Hill":  This game must be played with at least
  one other cat.  The more, the merrier!  One or both of the
  sleeping humans is Hill 303 which must be defended at all
  costs from the other cat(s).  Anything goes.  This game allows
  for the development of unusual tactics as one must take the
  unstable playing theater into account.  WARNING: Playing
  either of these games to excess will result in expulsion from
  the bed and possibly from the bedroom.  Should the humans grow
  restless, immediately begin purring and cuddle up to them.
  This should buy you some time until they fall asleep again.
  If one happens to be on a human when this occurs, this cat
  wins the round of King of the Hill.
Favorite Cat Toys:  Any small item is a potential toy.  If a human
tries to confiscate it, this means that it is a Good Toy.  Run with
it under the bed.  Look suitably outraged when the human grabs you
and takes it away.  Always watch where it is put so you can steal
it later.  Two reliable sources of toys are dresser tops and
wastebaskets.  There are several types of cat toys:
  Bright shiny things like keys, brooches, or coins should be
  hidden so that the other cat(s) or humans can't play with
  them. They are generally good for playing hockey with on
  uncarpeted floors.
  Dangly and/or string-like things such as shoelaces, cords,
  gold chains, and dental floss also make excellent toys.  They
  are favorites of humans who like to drag them across the floor
  for us to pounce on.  When a string is dragged under a
  newspaper or throw rug, it magically becomes the Paper/Rug
  Mouse and should be killed at all costs.  Take care, though.
  Humans are sneaky and will try to make you lose your Dignity.
  Paper bags.  Within paper bags dwell the Bag Mice.  They are
  small and camouflaged to be the same color as the bag, so they
  are hard to see.  But you can easily hear the crinkling noises
  they make as they scurry around the bag.  Anything, up to and
  including shredding the bag, can be done to kill them.  NOTE:
  Any other cat you may find in a bag hunting for Bag Mice is
  fair game for a Sneak Attack, which will usually result in a
  great Tag match.
--- WILDMAIL!/WC v4.12 
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