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From: VERN HUMPHREY 
Date: Sun, 14 Dec 03 13:27:00 +0100
Subject: Re: error !
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MM> VH> The way I heard it, the guy was going to jump off...
MM> VH> "A little old to be believing in fairy godmothers, aren't you?" :-)

MM>Well, Patrick was recovering in the park and at his wit's end,
MM>desparate to pay his tabs at the pubs - and him with no prospect
MM>of employment at all, at all.

Father O'Malley always preached on the same theme, "Get the Brits out of
Ireland."

Finally the bishop called him in and said, "I understand your feelings,
Father, but that's politics.  Sermons are about faith and morals."

And Father O'Malley said, "Ah, yer Riverence, I'd no idea whit I was
doin' was dishplaesin' t' yerself, but now that you've brought it to me
attention, yez can put it out of yer mind entirely.  It'll niver happen
again."

The next Sunday, he said, "Me sermon this Sunday is about the Last
Supper.  On the night he was betrayed, he sez to th' Apostles, he sez,
'It's a terrible t'ing I've got to tell yez, but one of yez is going to
turn me in to the aucthorities.'

And James falls down on his knees and says, "Say it won't be me, Lord.
Me auld mither couldn't live wid' the dishgrace!'

'Put it out of your mind entirely, Seamus.  It won't be you that does
the dirty deed.'

An' Peter goes down flat on the floor and says, 'Plase don't let it be
me, Lord.  There's not been an informer in me family for tree hundert
years!'

An' He says, 'Raise yerself up, Peadar.  It won't be you that does the
dirty deed.'

An' then Judas, that dirty, lyin' Judas says, 'Gorblimey Gov'nor!  Yer
don't fink I'd turn ya in for thirty bloody quid?!?!'"