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echo: katty_korner
to: ALL
from: MISS KITTY
date: 1998-04-19 07:40:00
subject: [2/2] CAT version (?)

 >>> Part 2 of 2...
  VET can remove this component. CATs with female ports are plagued by
  periodic heating problems. The VET can fix this permanently by removing an
  internal part. Such systems run unix.
  Warning Notices : CAT systems are user-friendly. However, in certain
  documented situations, a CAT may pose a danger to the user. Repeated
  jamming or obstruction of I/O ports may lead to deployment of auto-defense
  systems. Never attempt a first strike on a CAT system. Its CPU clock rate
  made to milspecs and thus classified, but JANE'S FIGHTING FELINES notes
  that a unit was seen by ham radio operators to be apparently moving at
  500 mHz. Twin D-shaped five-pin connectors have an average seek rate of
  3 nanoseconds. The manufacturer is not responsible for injuries to the
user.
  Do not poke anything into the CAT's I/O ports. CAT may BYTE.
  In dry, cold weather, a surface electrostatic charge may build up. To avoid
  electric shock, stand on an insulated surface.
  Do not operate the CAT above water. This may lead to end-user damage.
  Carry a CAT firmly. Do not swing it by its "tail".
  Service Life : As CATs become older, the learn program will recognize
  every situation. The CAT may become too smart for its own good.
  CATs like to have their own toys. They often have hobbies, such as bird
  watching or studying tropical fish.
  If you properly care for your CAT, it will give you years of loyal service.
  Many users get a second unit. Most users don't need the extra capacity,
  but they enjoy the ability to run complex simulation games.
  User Groups : CAT users can find other users and the faq on the Usenet
  newsgroup rec.pets.cats
  Lifetime Warranty : The CAT unit is guaranteed against catastrophic
  failure. Nine coupons are included.
  Documented Problems : The Ctrl key on most CAT units is defective. This
  may lead to serious performance problems.
  Do not install a BIRD unit at a site which has an operational CAT unit.
  These systems are not compatible. The BIRD unit may be erased
  permanently.
  System Features :
 Models = Main frame, desktop and laptop models (smallest footprint in the
 industry). Available in 15 inch, 17 inch, and 19 inch sizes.
 Interface = Touch sensitive interface for maximum user friendliness.
 Memory = Not much. Upgrades available real soon now.
 Expected Lifetime = 15 years with plus or minus 72 months (although 20
 years are common).
 Weight = 3-6 kilograms without optional cables.
 Speed = 3 nanoseconds search/find with self-uprighting supertwist
 technology.
 Color Graphics = Either paper white, monochrome (black/white), 64 grey
 shades, or maximum of 16 million colors with 40 terrabits of high resolution
 floating point pixels.
 Sound Chip =16 octaves, digital MIDI output (MI/OU).
 Power Consumpution = 250 grams protein daily (2 micrograms per second.)
 Operating Range = -30 to +45C
 Vibration = 5-500 Hz, one octave/min, dwell at all resonance points.
--- WILDMAIL!/WC v4.12 
---------------
* Origin: Kitty's Keep BBS * 714-997-9310 * Orange, CA * (1:103/441.0)

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