The following is taken from the Outlook (Editorial) section of The 
Washington Post for Sunday, December 1, 1996.  It is entered without comment 
for enjoyment/humor only.  The poster has no responsibility for comment.  The 
only change is that where you see the group (TM), this replaces a superscript 
in the original which cannot be done in DOS Text.
     The piece was written by Garrett Epps, who teaches
constitutional law at the University of Oregon.
{HEADLINE} "Mickey(TM) in a China(TM) Shop"
{SUBHEAD} "When Disney Meets the Dalai Lama, Beijing Smells a Rodent"
{LEAD-IN} "The Chinese Authorities recently warned Walt Disney Executives 
that the studio's role in a major film about the life of the Dalai Lama, now 
being shot in Morocco by the director Martin Scorsese, would force China to 
reconsider Disney's
extensive plans for investment in China's entertainment market. [News item.]"
Mr. Michael Eisner
The Walt Disney Corp.
Hollywood, Calif.
Dear Chairman Eisner:
     It has come to our attention that your company is in the process of 
preparing a commercial feature motion picture about the Dalai Lama.(TM)  
Pleased be advised that, by virtue of a hostile takeover and total 
acquisition of assets in 1959, the terms "Dalai Lama(TM)" and "Tibet(TM)" are 
registered trademarks belonging to the People's Republic of China.  Any 
commercial appropriation, dilution or misuse of these valuable intellectual 
property assets by your company will be met with legal action in the 
appropriate court of law.  By copy of this letter, I call on you to cease, 
desist and halt all pre-production, production and post-production work on 
the aforesaid motion picture or in the alternative to submit the said film, 
along with the screenplay,soundtrack, cast list and any and all plans for 
promotion and packaging to our appropriate authorities for review and
assessment of a fair royalty.
                                                Very truly yours,
                                                      Jiang Zemin
                                                        President
                                       People's Republic of China
               ===================================
Mr. Jiang Zemin
President
People's Republic of China
Dear President Jiang:
     Thank you for your letter.  As you can imagine, it prompted a thorough 
review by our legal department of our intellectual property situation in 
relation to the People's Republic.  As a result of this review, I wish to 
call your attention to the serious and ongoing violation by your government 
and its
instrumentalities of the Walt Disney Corp.'s valuable copyrights and 
trademarks, duly registered and fully protected under both international 
agreements and applicable domestic statutes in both the United States and 
China.  I refer, as you may suspect, to the ongoing sale and promotion by 
China of garments known as "Mao suits."  Our legal department advises me that 
this brand name creates a substantial likelihood of confusion with our
trademarked Mickey Mouse Suits(TM) and Mickey Mouse Ears(TM),both of which 
are valuable assets of our company and have so been designated since 1928.  
The applicable statutory damages under the U.S. Lanham Act arising from this 
open and notorious
violation of our intellectual property rights must total a tidy sum.  We 
would, of course, be willing to consider a negotiated settlement of our claim 
for these damages (and accrued interest) if we are able to reach an amicable 
solution to all outstanding intellectual property disputes between us, if we 
further receive assurances that agreements for the opening of Walt Disney
World(TM) theme parks in China will be fully observed, and if China agrees to 
cease and desist from any further interference in the internal affairs of the 
Walt Disney Corp.
     Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.
                                                 Yours sincerely,
                                                   Michael Eisner
             =======================================
Dear Mike,
     We regret the unhelpful attitude taken by Walt Disney Corp. in your last 
letter.  Please be advised that unless we receive a satisfactory reply from 
you within 30 days, we shall initiate legal action in U.S. courts and before 
the World Trade
Organization to enjoin the lawless misappropriation of our
valuable trademark China(TM), which you are currently using to label inferior 
Western-made porcelain product embossed with the likeness of your flagship 
rodent.  In addition, we shall see back damages and accrued interest for your 
flagrant violation of the Berne Convention and our government's droit moral.
                                                            Ciao,
                                                            Jiang
             =======================================
Jiang bubbie,
     I too have occasion to regret the unhelpful attitude taken by China in 
response to our good-faith attempt to resolve our dispute amicably.  However, 
your threat of litigation has left our company with but one recourse.  I am 
today announcing plans for a full-length Walt Disney Motion Pictures animated 
feature,tentatively entitled "The Long March(TM)."  Based entirely on 
material in the public domain, the film will depict it rollicking musical 
form the life and career of Chairman Mao(TM).  Musical numbers will include, 
"Follow the Yenan Brick Road," "A Hundred Flowers Bloomin' in my Heart" and 
"Swimming in the Yangtze (Look,Mao, No Hands!)."  The story tells how 
Mao(TM), a simple country lad, delivered his people from the evils of 
communism and
installed a free-market system.  We have obtained preliminary commitments to 
use the voices of Sean Connery, Sinbad, Kathy Lee Crosby and JackiE Chan, 
with Bronson Pinchot as the colorful arch-villain Stalin.  If I do not hear 
favorable news from you in 30 days, production will begin.
     We didn't want to get ugly, but you left us no real choice.
                                                       Gotta run,
                                                             Mike
     P.S.--Nice Security Council seat.  How much do you want for it?
{END OF ARTICLE}
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