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FONIX


TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
1.      Weed
2.      Vancouver:  1.5 million people and two bridges
3.      The local hero is a pot-smoking snowboarder
4.      The local wine doesn't taste like malt vinegar
5.      Your $400,000 Vancouver home is 5 hours from downtown
6.      A university with a nude beach
7.      You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations
8.      If a cop pulls you over, just offer them some of your hash
9.      There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on
10.     Cannabis

TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
1.      Big Rock
2.      Preston Manning
3.      Tax is 7 percent instead of approx. 200 percent
4.      The Premier is a fat, wife-beating alcoholic with a grade 4 
education
5.      Flames vs. Oilers
6.      Stamps vs. Eskies
7.      You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of
8.      Eventually, it will be your town's turn to ban VLT's
9.      The Americans below you are all in anti-government
militia groups
10.     You can attempt to murder your rich oil tycoon husband and
get away with it

TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
1.      You never run out of wheat
2.      Those cool Saskatchewan Wheat Pool hats
3.      Cruise control takes on a whole new meaning
4.      Your province is really easy to draw
5.      You never have to worry about roll-back if you have a standard
6.      It takes you two weeks to walk to your neighbor's house
7.      YOUR Roughriders survived
8.      You can watch the dog run away from home for hours
9.      People will assume you live on a farm
10.     Buying a huge John Deere mower makes sense

TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
1.      You wake up one morning to find you suddenly have
beachfront property
2.      Amusing town names like "Flin Flon" and "Winnipeg"
3.      All your local bands make it big and move to Toronto
4.      The only province to ever violently rebel against the
federal government
5.      Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes
6.      Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter
7.      You don't need a car, just take the canoe to work
8.      You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood
9.      Because of your license plate, you are still "friendly" even
when you cut someone off
10.     Pass the time watching trucks and barns float by

TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
1.      You live in the center of the universe
2.      Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump
3.      You and you alone decide who will win the federal election
4.      There's no such thing as an Ontario Separatist
5.      Your grandparents sold booze to the States during Prohibition
6.      Lots of tourists come to Toronto because they mistakenly
believe it's a cool city
7.      The only province with hard-core American-style crime
8.      MuchMusic's Speaker's Corner - rant and rave on national TV]
for a dollar
9.      Baseball fans park on your front lawn and pee on the side
of your house
10.     Mike Harris:  basically a sober Ralph Klein

TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
1.      Everybody assumes you're an asshole
2.      Racism is socially acceptable
3.      The only province to ever kidnap federal politicians
4.      You can take bets with your friends on which English
neighbor will move out next
5.      Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada
6.      The FLQ
7.      Your hockey team is made up entirely of dirty French guys
8.      The province with the oldest, nastiest hookers
9.      NON-smokers are the outcasts
10.     You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo bastards"

TOP 10 REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
1.      You are sandwiched between French assholes and drunken
Celtic fiddlers
2.      One way or another, the government gets 98 percent
of your income
3.      You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies
4.      When listing the provinces, everyone forgets to mention yours
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