-=> Quoting Dan Triplett to Carl Bogardus <=-
 DT> Thought this was rather funny and thought I'd share.
 
 kakl, kakl, kakl, (aussie expression for laugh spelt yor weigh)
 Only one problem, Dan, it was done in 1984, wasn't it? (George Orwell)
 DT> Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC (now 
 DT> officially the European Union, or EU), the European Parliament has 
 DT> commissioned a feasibility study in ways of improving efficiency in 
 DT> communications between Government departments.
 DT> European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is
 DT> unnecessarily difficult.  For example: cough, plough, here, hear, bow,
 DT> bough, through and thorough.  What is clearly needed is a phased
 DT> program  of changes to iron out these anomalies.  The program would be 
 DT> administered by a committee of top level staff chosen by the 
 DT> participating nations.
 DT> In the first year, for example, the committee might suggest using "s" 
 DT> instead of the soft "c".  Sertainly, sivil servants in all sities
 DT> would  resieve this news with joy.  The hard "c" could then be replased
 DT> by "k"  sinse both letters are pronounsed alike.  This would not only
 DT> klear up  konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but typewriters
 DT> and  keyboards kould be made with one less letter, a signifikant
 DT> savings. 
 DT> In the sekond year, bekause of growing enthusiasm, it will be
 DT> announsed  that the troublesome "ph" would henseforth be written "f". 
 DT> This would  make words like "fotograf" twenty persent shorter in print.
 DT> In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
 DT> expekted  to reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are
 DT> possible.  Governments would enkourage the removal of double letters
 DT> which have  always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
 DT> We would al agre that the horible mes of silent "e"'s in the languag
 DT> is disgrasful.  Therefor, we kould drop thes and kontinu to read and
 DT> writ  as though nothing had hapend.
 DT> By this tim it would be four years sins the skem began and peopl would
 DT> be reseptiv to steps sush as replasing "th" by "z".  Perhaps zen ze 
 DT> funktion of "w" kould be taken on by "v", vitsh is, after al, half a 
 DT> "w". Finaly, ze unesesary "o" kuld be dropd from words kontaining
 DT> "ou".  Similar arguments vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of
 DT> leters. 
 DT> Kontinuing zis proses yer aftr yer, ve vud eventuli hav a reli sensibl
 DT> iten stil.  Aftr tventi yers zer vud be no mor trubls or difikultis
 DT> and  evrion vud fin it ezi tu understan esh ozer.  Ze drems of ze E.U.
 DT> vud  finali kum tru.
 DT> :)  It kan hapen.....Dan
 DT> -!- WILDMAIL!/WC v4.12 
 DT>  ! Origin: R-Squared BBS  (1:352/28.0)
___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.12
--- Maximus/2 3.01
---------------