MM>As a very green 2nd Lt, my first run at being Orderly Officer of
MM>the day out at Papakura (Auckland City's major training camp) saw
MM>me taking the tour with the Camp RSM.  This worthy `owned' the
MM>premises fiercely, schooled his budding OO's in how best to behave
MM>and inspect and could tell at a glance whose dirty boots had left
MM>what depressions on which Mess lawn and when....

A sign at Fort Polk, Louisiana, "One foot on this grass entitles you to
an interview with the First Sergeant." :-)

MM>We toured all the kitchens, most of the bunkhouses, all of the
MM>utilities and endless ablution blocks.  Graffiti in those days was
MM>virtually none-existent and foul language punished
MM>enthusiastically.  At the zillionth ablutions, the RSM peeled off
MM>into the latrine area leaving me to sight the showers - and
MM>blocked off the latrine entry with his swagger stick as we re-
MM>grouped - "Best not go in there, Sah!"

MM>I was tired of the spotless touring, and somehow got God to stand
MM>aside.  There on a loo door some wit had felt-nibbed...

MM>"Dont f**k the Army - let the breed die out"

MM>God was totally mortified.

MM>And about 30 minutes later, a triumphant RSM led me through a
MM>Defaulters' Parade which dealt summary justice to a stunned
MM>infantryman with literary leanings who was marched in by an
MM>embarrassed CSM and two stony-faced Corporals.

MM>Probably would have impinged seriously on the lad's `Human Rights'
MM>these days...

I recall an investigation in a company I took over -- this little worm,
after many offenses, jumped off a fire escape and broke both legs.  He
SAID the Drill Sergeants threw him off.  The investigation proved
otherwise, and all his hospital time was "bad time," and he had to pay
for his own treatment.

Months later, as one of the Drill Sergeants was leaving, I asked him
what REALLY happened.

"Well, Sir, me and Sergeant Mitchell was inspecting the barracks, and we
heard a ruckus.  A trainee sergeant had found him asleep in his rack
instead of cleaning his area.  And he was cussing the trainee sergeant.
So I grabbed him by one arm, Sergeant Mitchell grabbed him by the other
arm, the trainee sergeant opened the fire escape door, and we threw the
little &^%$# off." :-)
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