Just a bit of Yankee Humor.


Do we Really need he French, Some Points to Ponder.



So the French still aren't on board with us spanking Iraq.  Boo hoo !

Wait .. let's take a closer look at the mighty French military prowess 
we will be missing, shall we?

Gaellic Wars - Lost . . In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000
years of French history, France is conquered by of all things . . an 
Italian.

Hundred Years War - Mostly lost . . saved at last by female 
schizophrenic who inadvertently creates . . The First Rule of French 
Warfare: "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a
Frenchman."

Italian Wars - Lost.  France becomes the first and only country to ever 
lose two wars when fighting Italians. In Wars of Religion -
France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages 
to get invaded anyway. Claims a TIE on the basis that eventually the 
other participants started ignoring her.

The Dutch War - Tied

War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
Lost . . but claimed as ties . . because three ties in a row induces 
deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as their height 
of military power.

War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their 
first taste of a Marlborough . . which they have loved every since.

American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to 
future Americans . . France claims a win even though the English 
colonists saw far   more military action. This is later known as " de 
Gaulle Syndrome " . . and it leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare 
 "France only wins when America does most of the fighting for them."

French Revolution - Won  . . primarily due the fact that their opponent 
was . . ALSO FRENCH.

The Napoleonic Wars - Lost.  Temporary victories ( remember the First 
Rule ?)  due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match 
for a British footwear designer.

The Franco-Prussian War - Lost.  Germany plays its first role of drunk 
Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

World War I - On the way to losing . . France is saved by the United 
States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only 
sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein."
Widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement 
in the French bloodline.

World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States
and Great Britain just as the French are learning the Horst Wessel Song.

War in Indochina -  Lost.  French forces plead illness, take to bed with 
the Dien Bien Flu.

Algerian Rebellion - Lost.  This loss marks the first defeat of a 
western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and 
produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare: " We can always beat the 
French." And this rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, 
Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Eskimoes..

War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its military history, 
surrenders in advance to the German and Muslim interests ...
... just to be safe.

The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should 
not be "Can we count on the French?" . . but rather
"How long until France surrenders?"

Author unknown



 To remain on Topic I used Keyboard Strokes in Win98Se to cut and paste
into this meassage.
I am reporting that it Works.   :-)  :-)  :-)


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