Thought this was rather funny and thought I'd share.
Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC (now 
officially the European Union, or EU), the European Parliament has 
commissioned a feasibility study in ways of improving efficiency in 
communications between Government departments.
European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is
unnecessarily difficult.  For example: cough, plough, here, hear, bow, 
bough, through and thorough.  What is clearly needed is a phased program 
of changes to iron out these anomalies.  The program would be 
administered by a committee of top level staff chosen by the 
participating nations.
In the first year, for example, the committee might suggest using "s" 
instead of the soft "c".  Sertainly, sivil servants in all sities would 
resieve this news with joy.  The hard "c" could then be replased by "k" 
sinse both letters are pronounsed alike.  This would not only klear up 
konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but typewriters and 
keyboards kould be made with one less letter, a signifikant savings.
In the sekond year, bekause of growing enthusiasm, it will be announsed 
that the troublesome "ph" would henseforth be written "f".  This would 
make words like "fotograf" twenty persent shorter in print.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted 
to reash the stage where more komplikated shanges are possible. 
Governments would enkourage the removal of double letters which have 
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
We would al agre that the horible mes of silent "e"'s in the languag is
disgrasful.  Therefor, we kould drop thes and kontinu to read and writ 
as though nothing had hapend.
By this tim it would be four years sins the skem began and peopl would 
be reseptiv to steps sush as replasing "th" by "z".  Perhaps zen ze 
funktion of "w" kould be taken on by "v", vitsh is, after al, half a 
"w". Finaly, ze unesesary "o" kuld be dropd from words kontaining "ou". 
Similar arguments vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
Kontinuing zis proses yer aftr yer, ve vud eventuli hav a reli sensibl 
iten stil.  Aftr tventi yers zer vud be no mor trubls or difikultis and 
evrion vud fin it ezi tu understan esh ozer.  Ze drems of ze E.U. vud 
finali kum tru.
:)  It kan hapen.....Dan
--- WILDMAIL!/WC v4.12 
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