==> A hush fell over the room when Tim Dill said to Chris Johnson <== 
 
 TD> Call me during the day @ 310-352-6450 and I'll bend your ear
 TD> about how I have not had a formal sponsor for a while and
 TD> I have almost 6 years of recovery, Oh my 5th sponsor still likes
 TD> to hear from me but I aint called him in a while....
Uh....Tim....Yes, for a while it's quite okay to go "sponsorless."  
I know, I've done it.  However, having gone sponsorless and now, again,
having a sponsor.  I don't recommend it.  
The reasons for sponsorship are manyfold.  First, I think, a sponsor 
helps us break the isolationism that is an integral part of this disease.
It forces us to make contact on a daily (or, for me, at least 3x/week) 
basis.  Also, it's really easy to get over on people when there are a 
bunch of people with whom I share a lot of stuff.  BUT I don't tell
"everything" to "everyone".  THAT is, IMHO, the key. 
My sponsor knows what's going on in my life.  She knows pretty much
all of it.  She can *see* the inconsistencies, *hear* when I'm 
bullshitting MYSELF.
I had an interesting experience this weekend.  Now, I've been battling
with depression for the last year or so.  I've finally decided to take
some steps about dealing with it.  I was at my *best friend's* house this
weekend, and was talking to her about it.  The whole subject was news
to her.  She hasn't seen the sinking into new depths of depression.  All
she saw was that it was getting harder to get me to get together.  She
assumed (and I led her to the assumption) that I was *busy*.  My sponsor,
OTOH, knows exactly how difficult this last year has been....she's been
listening to me, frequently, talk about "what my day was like".  I can't
hide from her, the way I can hide when I tell some to this one and some
to that one.
Also, I've found it impossible to do any *real* step work without a 
sponsor.  I *need* someone who, again, knows the entire picture, who
can give me a reality check on whether the 9th step I'm planning to 
do is:
a.  Me wanting assuage my guilt and come out looking good. Or,
b.  An honest attempt to repair the damage done.  Or,
c.  A twisted thing (I am, after all, and alcoholic and engage in 
       alcologic from time to time) that will, indeed, do additional
       damage.
etc.
 TD> I have a very close network of friends that came in around the same
 TD> time as I did.. and where in the big book says you gotta have a life
 TD> long sponsor? I challenge you to find it... It mentions sponsorship
 TD> at least three times in working the steps 3-8 but after that
 TD> nothing...
 TD> I am known as the "Heretic of AA" 
Couple of things here.
If your network all have about the same amount of time in the program
as you, where are you gettin the ES&H about how things will change?  
All you're getting is what things are like now?  The point of sponsorship
is to get value from someone else's experience. Hopefully it can save
us from making the same mistakes over and over again (raise the bottom,
so to speak); give us hope for the future, etc.
If my sponsor hadn't lived through what I've lived through for the last
year, there are many, many mistakes I would have made this year.  As it
was, there were many that I did...but listening to her experience, I 
was saved from quite a few.   Also, she's given me a safe place to 
explore stuff that I wouldn't talk to anyone else about.  It's with her
that I can talk about the real shaming stuff, and get to the point where
I can talk about it with other people.
AND, Tim, if you're going to be the "Heretic of AA" (and John L. that
title a few years ago, and passed the torch to me and John Elder), you
can't use the Big Book to support your statements. ;-)
()
... Abstinence and Celibacy...Politically Correct ways of not getting any!
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