Hello Nicholas.

08 Dec 10 01:07, you wrote to All:

 NS> I just came back from the redundant department of redundancy and they
 NS> told me that I did not qualify for my babble license. Something about
 NS> I didn't have enough drivel, can someone help me out here?

Sure thing:

Dear Sir, Madam, or Lower life form, as it were;

Congradulations! You have just stumbled blindly and without a Barge Licence
into Mindless Chatter & Drivel, the Worst Echo in Fidonet.
There are only
two topics in MC&D; drivel, and newbie bashing. I'm not drivelling at present,
so I'll leave the electrons in that empty head of yours to randomly collide
with each other so that you can figure it out for yourself.

Prepare yourself to endure repeated barrages with copious amounts of pigeon
 that will be directed your way, lovingly delivered by the
dwarves via carrier pigeon, cannon, or catapult; all thanks to the rather
large target you have just painted for yourself on your . A
raincoat and umbrella might help, but only for about 12.75 seconds, as the
caustic nature of the  will quickly eat it's way through
those.

Self-flaggelation and rubdowns with 80 grit sandpaper, followed by healthy
dousings in Standard kerosine will help to thicken your skin and
desensitize it to the continuous bombardment of  that you will have to
endure until we decide that you've gained apprentice dwarf status.

Please sned $1275.00 (CDN, since the US dollar has now tanked) in small,
unmarked bills to the office of Sgt. Stubby MacPherson, c/o the NCORF, for
your snedding papers, phunny hat, decoder ring, aardvark detector, and any
other useless items we may come up with. Oh, and don't be suprised if none
of the aforementioned items arrive; we make no promises here, except that
you'll regret your stay.

Report to the Flipside Clinic for your Clue implant; remember to bend over
and hold your ankles. Don't cough; Flip Harris hasn't done an implant
procedure in about 12.75 years so he's a bit rusty. You don't want to end
up as an experimental cybernetics subject for the Doc (Borgie) Hutto
memorial research center.

If you feel that this message has reached you in error, we welcome you to avail
yourself of the echo exit via the JoBob Morgan Memorial Privy and Escape
Chute.

... This is the only "nice" message that I will send you.
--- GoldED/386 3.0.1