On (23 Oct 95) Brad Meyers wrote to Tim Dill...
 BM>    Tim, no matter what you hear compassion and helping someone is not an
 BM> al-anon slip by it's self.  As long as you have healthy boundries about
 BM> what you will do, and know why your doing it, then its cool.
 But I have not even made my first meeting yet, it was like when of
 no fault of my own that I managed to get ahold of you voice and
 needed to pass on that info.
 I was crosing no - one's bounderies excepting maybe yours by waking you up
 at an ungodly hour of 1:00 pm
 BM>    Its letting myself get sucked [by my own thinking] over boundries and
 BM> rescuing because of the feed back, that is what is a slip in my life.  I
 BM> do computer consulting as a business, yet will help folks [who are not a
 BM> business themselves] who I know with most of everything from helping 
hem
 BM> organize what they want to do to letting them order through Bear
 BM> Consulting so they can get a discount.
 I myself have helped many folks in the realm of what we are "talking"
 on now and it fufills that sense of being useful where I used to be useless.
 It is amazing that I construed this as a slip.
 
 BM>  The difference for me is that I
 BM> used to go looking for people to help because that was the only way I
 BM> could feel good about myself.  If I find myself starting to cross those
 BM> boundries, I stop and let the person do it with someone else.
 Ah yes, I have learned to say no also...
 BM>    Whether or not your helping someone in a 12 step program is a part of
 BM> your healthy program or a part of your problem depends on why your doing
 BM> it and what you expect in return.  I always insist on being fed a meal
 BM> [Hardees works out well] when I go to someones house or spend any length
 BM> of time with them.  That's my payment and it helps me from doing this 
kind
 BM> of thing for the wrong reason.
 Yeah and I only take cash if its a service call, the most amazing thing
 is that I am able to patch a pentium together where the tech could not 
 figure out what the hell was happening. Things I have learned since I 
 got sober, I put that to service.
 BM>    My Al-Anon sponsor says that if I am not sucking up and am helping
 BM> someone just for the heck of it, that its not a problem.
 Ok, catagory is "Random acts of kindness"
 Got it...
 B*B
 Tim...
... "640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981
--- PPoint 1.92
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