MM>"Ye spalpeen!", his wife wakes him in the morning by
MM>screaming,"Ye've been drinking all night again !"

MM>"What makes you say that",  he tries for utter innocent.

MM>"The pub phoned - ye've left the wheelchair there again !"

Reminds me of me Grandda.  The Auld Fella was a bit nervous at the
dentist.  So the dentist tells him, "Seein' as how it's almost Saint
Paddy's day, I've got some special mouthwash for yez," and gives him a
shot of Irish whiskey.

"Now, are yez ready for me?"

"If I could have just a drop more of that mouthwash."

So the dentist gives him another shot.

"Are yez ready for me NOW?"

"If I could have just one more drop more of that mouthwash."

So the dentist gives him another shot.

"Now, are yez ready for me?"

"I'd like to SEE th' man who'd touch me teeth NOW!"
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