==> A hush fell over the room when Munchkin said to Dreamer <== 
 Mu> If you are both aware of the danger of relapse then, perhaps there is
 Mu> a  way to lessen the possibility of that relapse. I've found that
 Mu> quitting  the addiction (whatever it may be) is only the First step. 
Agreed.
 Mu> having Migraine  headaches!). Now, obviously, this isn't going to work
 Mu> for very  long...as soon as the pressure builds to a certain (critical)
 Mu> level,  you will reach for the medication again unless you either
 Mu> transfer the  addictive behaviour patterns to something less
 Mu> destructive or, unless  you work on the underlying causes for the
 Mu> addiction. This is the basis  behind AA's "90 meetings in 90 days"
Not in my experience.  If I thought that "transferring the addiction" to 
AA was necessary I never would have stayed.  What I got from 90/90 was
very simply *something to do* with all the time that got freed up from
not drinking and drugging.  In fact, if I notice that any of the people
I sponsor are becoming addicted to meetings (for example, won't go to 
the movies because the *have* to go to a meeting), I gently intervene.
AA is, from the very start, a bridge back to LIFE...not a bridge back
to AA.  It's about learning to live *free* from active alcoholism [read
addiction], NOT about finding new addictions to take the place of drugs
and alcohol.
 Mu> personality. If you are lucky enough to  become aware of the factors
 Mu> that "trigger" your desire to use, you will  be better able to employ
 Mu> relapse prevention techniques to help keep you  from succumbing to the
 Mu> addiction. Needless to say, the earlier you  become aware that you are
 Mu> slipping back into the addiction, the easier  it will be to prevent a
 Mu> full relapse from occuring. 
Yes, the most effective of these being:
Don't drink no matter what
Go to meetings
Call your sponsor
 
 Mu> The next stage is perhaps the longest
 Mu> and hardest but, it will  provide the most benefits. Now, you begin to
 Mu> work on your personality  and social skills....learning to function
 Mu> better without the  mood-altering benefits of alcohol or drugs. This
 Mu> involves a lot of  internal analysis...a lot of Original Pain work...a
 Mu> lot of Inner  Healing as you strive to overcome the bad habits you have
 Mu> acquired over  the years. In effect, you are "rebuilding"
 Mu> yourself...acquiring new,  more efficient skills that will allow you to
 Mu> feel good about yourself  and, that will allow you to function as a
 Mu> valued member of Society. As  you acquire new, more positive traits,
 Mu> these traits will help to offset  the negative (antisocial) traits that
 Mu> led you down the path to  addiction.
 Mu> I know that I have generalized things quite a bit but, I hope you
 Mu> get the basic idea....You have to heal the whole person....The 
 Mu> addiction is just a way to medicate the Inner Pain of the addict. If 
 Mu> you agree, you might like to pick up some of John Bradshaw's works. I 
 Mu> found "Homecoming" and "Healing The Shame That Binds You" of
 Mu> particular  interest.
Perhaps a jaunt through the Big Book of AA or the Basic Text of NA, or
whatever program a person is working would benefit more than the pop-psych
books you are recommending.
Makes me wonder if you have, indeed, worked all the way through all 12
steps.  In my experience, I've found that diligently working steps 4-9
take care of many of the "anti-social" behaviors.  Working a 4th step
gets one in touch with many of the "causes".  If working these steps 
doesn't do it, then it's time for professional assistance from a good
therapist.  
Just my $.02
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