27 may 1997 Ottawa Canada
How to help your cellular carrier repair their fancy but not
working right CDMA network:
1.  Phone them up and explain it is still broken.
2.  Ask to speak to a supervisor or level 2 manager.  Level 5
manager might be overkill but you can ask anyway.
3.  Get the name and direct dial number for the chairman of your
state's PUC and same for the chairman of the FCC.
4.  Offer the above info to your cellular carrier.
5.  Ask the competing cellular carrier how much they will bribe
you to switch to them.
6.  Tell your carrier with the broken network the info from 5
above.
7.  If you are technically inclined or know people who are, offer
to personally assist the carrier with remedying the trouble.
Bring your construction safety boots, hard hat, tools and a
climbing belt with you.
8.  Write formal letters of complaint to your State PUC and the
FCC explaining your efforts in steps 1-7 above and what the
carrier said if anything.
9.  Phone the president of the cellular carrier or their Chairman
of the board and explain to him their network is broken, why and
give him the ticket numbers involved.  Actually this should be
step 8 and mention the names and numbers of the FCC and PUC
folks, also the manager of your local Eye Witless News station
and nearest all-news radio station, like Group w, CBS etc.
10.  Invite the president c.e.o, and their vice presidents from
your cellular carrier to your house for morning coffee and to
discuss the broken network with the guys from the Eye Witless
news station, if they can spare a moment between chasing fire
engines.
11.  Sue the pants, skirt or other wearing apparel off the
carrier for providing rotten service!
12.  have all your friends and colleagues on the same network do
the same.
13.  Have your Mother-in-law get involved!  Find out the
carrier's mother-in-law's name and have your mother-in-law call
his mother-in-law and the guy will definitely know there is
something wrong.
Can you think of a better way?  Possibly the mothers-in-law could
join in the fun around step 8 or 9.
... A feature is a bug with seniority.
--- Blue Wave v2.12 [NR]
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