Tim Dill wrote from inside the event horizon to Judith Labonte:
 EL> On 6 Oct 95 02:29pm, Judith Labonte wrote to Elaine Loveless:
 JL> I can answer netmail, but I don't 
 JL> know how to initiate it to anyone outside my own board.
 TD>  Send me a screen capture ;-) I'll figure it out or I may
 TD> sneak   aboard on night and see if my mail made it and
 TD> figure the damn thing  out for ya
 TD>  (Ok Harriet I failed my first alanon test, sue me!)
   Tim, no matter what you hear compassion and helping someone is not an 
al-anon slip by it's self.  As long as you have healthy boundries about what 
you will do, and know why your doing it, then its cool.
   Its letting myself get sucked [by my own thinking] over boundries and 
rescuing because of the feed back, that is what is a slip in my life.  I do 
computer consulting as a business, yet will help folks [who are not a 
business themselves] who I know with most of everything from helping them 
organize what they want to do to letting them order through Bear Consulting 
so they can get a discount.  The difference for me is that I used to go 
looking for people to help because that was the only way I could feel good 
about myself.  If I find myself starting to cross those boundries, I stop and 
let the person do it with someone else.
   Whether or not your helping someone in a 12 step program is a part of your 
healthy program or a part of your problem depends on why your doing it and 
what you expect in return.  I always insist on being fed a meal [Hardees 
works out well] when I go to someones house or spend any length of time with 
them.  That's my payment and it helps me from doing this kind of thing for 
the wrong reason.
   My Al-Anon sponsor says that if I am not sucking up and am helping someone 
just for the heck of it, that its not a problem.
   Caveat:  It works here, your milage may differ.
Da Bear 
--- timEd 1.01
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