The top of the morning to you, Vern...

 VH> "I'd like to SEE th' man who'd touch me teeth NOW!"

Unlike the Paddy who wandered away from the bar to make room for 
another jug or two ... and found a tiny wee green-suited fellow 
already hard at it, standing at the side of the urinal.

Paddy stared at the fellow's 3 foot height, the bright green suit 
and the polished shoes and bowler, and choked with total 
excitement...

"Yer a leprecauhn !"

"So ?", said the wee fellow, carefully packing his 12 incher away 
before turning to the washbasin.

"So !", gabbled Paddy, "So I gets to have a wish on you ! Thats 
the rule, in't it ?  If Ize catches you out, Ize gets a wish !"

"Hush up, man !", says the little man "Give us a hoist to the 
basin here,  and I'll think about it."  And Paddy gets even more 
excited as he lifts the heavy wee titch up to the basin where he 
washes his hands.

"Tell you what, Paddy, you've a nice pair of hands", announces the 
green-clad lad, back on the floor again,  "How'd you like to come 
with me into that cubicle for a while...and be very kind to a 
lonely wee leprecauhn ?"

And much, much later, a totally ruined Paddy realises that the 
little fellow has left him, smartened up and is about to depart.

"Wait, wait!", he groans, utterly spent. "What about me wish !?"

"Wish ?", laughed the wee one as he stepped to the door.

"Ye'll be believing in fairies next !!"
 
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