I was a cosysop on WWIV software six years ago in another network.  I 
knew NOTHING about the technicalities and was roped into this by my ex 
partner and ex-lover because I knew a lot about Paganism and he was 
trying to get Pagan subs started on WWIV NET and later on WWIV LINK - 
which we did with the help of a Gentleman from California.  He and the 
Gentleman from California knew all about the technicalities.
Re- not getting help in AA - I am sure this is NOT your experience.  It
wasn't my experience in Maryland and it wasn't my experience in 
Virginia - that is how I KNOW for a fact that the problem in getting 
rides and other help is not me.  If I could get help there, and ask for
it appropriately, well, then I have to say it definitely ain't me.  I 
STILL can get a ride to a meeting easier when I am visiting the area in
Maryland - right around D C - where I used to live, than I can get one 
here.  And, yes, the stuff about imposing their Higher Power only 
occured here.  But here is where I am now.
I do see your point about the Moderator on the other echo not knowing 
what software I was on, but she COULD have said this instead of dumping
on me for not knowing myself.  I don't react well to being dumped on - 
especially by people I thought were my friends.
I don't appreciate being embarassed publically like that.
And THAT is how I felt - embarassed and shamed.  
I disagree completely about what you have said.  I have heard an 
oldtimer - one who knew Bill W and whose story is in the Big book - say
that if he fell and bumped his butt and it made him feel like he wanted
a drink than that belonged in ANY AA meeting, because that is what it 
is about.  Obviously this is a difference of philosophy from not only 
that moderator, but moderators of other 12 step echoes in Fido - which 
is why I feel like I really don't belong on many of these any more.
I think if some kind of inflated loftiness and Psuedo-spirituality in 
discussing the steps becomes more important than helping another 
alcoholic and/or addict stay sober and/or clean, than the echoes are 
missing their STATED Purpose.
This is my opinion.  As you pointed out, the echoes are NOT the same as
meetings or groups.  In most meetings or groups, the group conscience 
rules.  In the echoes, the moderator or co-moderators rule.  As a 
cosysop we used to have a saying "The sysop is God(ess)"  I agree with 
that because I am using THEIR Machine and equipment to be on a BBS.  
And THAT costs money.  Therefore they should have the final say.  I'm 
also sure moderators put a LOT of work in in running the echoes, 
conferences, subs, message bases or whatever other term you can come up
with here.   That should give them a LOT of say, if not complete say, 
on their echoes.  Hence I disagree, so I am leaving.  Why am I leaving?
Well, to be honest, it seemed to me that all those messages she yelled 
at me for where REPLIES to other people.  And not only those message I 
replied to, but many others on that echo were not on topic.  I don't 
feel it is fair to only come down on certain people - especially when 
they are asking you for help, albeit technical help, which to me is the
very essence of the 12 steps and of the program of recovery.  All this 
Higher Power stuff STARTS with asking for help - and for many of us we 
ask for help from a person or group before we are able to ask for help 
from any Deity or Deity Substitute.
But it doesn't matter.  I don't agree.  I have no power in this 
situation.  I am powerless over everything in my life EXCEPT myself and
my physical location - or, in this case, my location in cyberspace.  So
I am leaving the echo.  I haven't read it since I got that message from
her.
As for my own participation in AA, because I do not drive, I either go 
to a meeting where two elder statemen do not allow business meetings, 
banish folks from chairing meetings there on their own, without a group
conscience, tell people if you don't like how I run my meeting get the 
F*** out, and call the local halfway house to tell the women not to 
bring their kids anymore, again without a group conscience.  OR I can 
not go to AA at all, ever.  Because I am legally Blind (not totally) I 
can't drive.   Folks around here almost never give rides and look at 
you suspiciously if you ask, as a rule.  And this is the meeting I can 
easily get to by bus.  The only one.
And when I brought up the possibility of having a business meeting, 
everyone was to apathetic to care - except for one older gemtleman who 
is really trying to get one going.  This older gentleman is also the 
ONLY person who has ever given me rides on a regular basis - and then 
only if I get to the meeting myself anI have to have something to fall 
back on if he is not there because he changes meetings occasionally.  
But he is great - a light in the darkness, so to speak.  (spiritually 
also as he is very involved in the Matt Talbert Retreats)
So I am at the end of my rope with AA in this area and I'm pretty much 
disgusted with a lot of the echoes where people who discuss the weather
in California turn around and jump on me if I bring up something 
off-topic - and that DID happen in one echo, but not by the one on the 
12 steps echo.
All in all I am at the point of just plain giving up - and not just on 
A A or this echo.
--- TriToss (tm) Professional 1.0 - (Unregistered)
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