MSGID: 1:229/452 1C764D22
-=> Quoting Damon A. Getsman to Nancy Backus on 14-Aug-2015 06:55 <=-
 
 NB>> Somehow got ahead of myself with the last message... out of sequence...
 NB>> now going back to the older packets... ;)
 DAG> I think that might've been my system's fault at this point. 

No, it was mine, pure and simple... I have a stack of BW message packets
on the computer, and it was more than a page in the reader listing, so I
ended up answering a message in a newer packet before doing the older
packets... :)

 DAG> I used to have a problem where the Synchronet BBS process would jump
 DAG> up to 100% CPU usage, and totally stop importing any messages to
 DAG> networked message areas.  My guess is that it stopped sending outbound
 DAG> at the same time.  Anyway I was wondering why things had been so quiet
 DAG> for a few days, took a look at the process list, saw that was the
 DAG> case, and fixed it a few days ago...  So there might have been a small
 DAG> deluge of messages that'd be held up on my system. Unless it was just
 DAG> an error on your part in which case shame, shame.  ;) 

Getting them out of sequence was my error... and the packets were
probably before your episode... ;)  I'd guess that any messages on your
end that got liberated finally were in the batch that I finally got to
when I first got back from the latest trip... ;)

 NB>> Tight circumstances certainly complicate financial planning, make for
 NB>> a lot more juggling... ;)
 DAG> It's something I'm used to, but looking forward to giving up, while
 DAG> trying to stay somewhat reasonably frugal.  Juggling is tough; I spent
 DAG> an entire summer trying to teach myself to do it with balanced
 DAG> objects...  Financial instruments don't balance nearly as easily.  ;)

With any luck, they'll not be made of glass and shatter when you drop
them...    Seriously, though, staying reasonably frugal makes good
sense... then when the inevitable down times come, one is in a better
position to weather them, both by practice and by not already being
over-extended...  :)
 
 DAG>>> of that. It's that kind of situation that makes my agoraphobic
 DAG>>> tendencies flare up.
 NB>> Understood... not so much an excuse as an explanation....
 DAG> Well, I perhaps overcompensate for the fact that a lot of people
 DAG> view these kinds of issues as completely head games or excuses for
 DAG> losers/lazy people. The stigma with mental illness, if you want to go
 DAG> all out and call it that, is heavy and burdensome.  So I try to make a
 DAG> little joke about it now and then to defuse any of those
 DAG> pure-of-thought Sith out there who are planning on telling me that I
 DAG> have a weak mind and need longer bootstraps.  ;) 

Indeed.  Unbroken bootstraps might be helpful... but those calling for
their use rarely supply the need... ;0

 NB>> Becomes almost a Catch-22...  Another reason for somehow managing to get
 NB>> that inner balance stabilized, so that circumstances don't knock you off
 NB>> center so easily...
 DAG> It does very easily.  I've fallen out of habit with running and
 DAG> meditating again lately, too (medication went into flux for a few
 DAG> days).  Hell, it got stressful enough from the med flux that I actually
 DAG> picked up smoking for a little bit again, too.  :(  Those catch-22s are
 DAG> horribly easy to fall back into; I hang onto that stability like it's
 DAG> the last warm piece of wreckage from the titanic when I can. 

Shoulda been running and meditating instead of picking up the smoking,
after all... ;)  But yeah, I hear you... :)

 DAG> I just wish the VA would find some more reliable, and less
 DAG> down-to-the-minute way to send my medications, so that if something
 DAG> does go wrong, I don't have to go all up and down the taper again and
 DAG> deal with The Fears during the time my brain is resetting. 

That's part of the problem with needing meds... no way to have a more
reliable way of getting them than what you have now...?  And probably no
way to build yourself a small emergency stockpile to tide you over when
this sort of thing happens...  You'd think that the VA would recognize
the importance of keeping the meds stable to keep you stable...

Continuing in next message...  ;)

ttyl        neb

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