G'morning VERN HUMPHREY, 

 VH> "An d'yez know yer puir wife fell out about t'ree miles back?"
 VH> "T'ank heaven!  I thought I'd gone deaf!"

So you'll have heard of his Australia cousin, Platypus O'Malley, 
and his once-in-a-lifetime trip from Toowoomba to Sydney to watch 
the Wallabies wallop the English in the recent Rugby World Cup 
final ?

Saved up, he and his wife Edna had, and purchased two of the best 
seats in the Olympic Stadium,  hoping against hope that it'd be 
the dirty English and not the dreaded All Blacks that would end up 
facing the cup-holders on the final night.

And so, there was Platypus sitting in his marvellous seat, waiting 
for the game to start, right alongside John Howard, the Australian 
Prime Minister.

"Myte", the PM introduced himself, "Whose your empty seat for ?"

"Sure, myte", Platypus replies, "And `tis the wife's but she cant 
be here tonight"

"Oh myte", says Howard, "Have a stubbie - nothing too serious ?"

"Ta, myte", swigs Platypus, "Yeah, she passed away recently"

"Sorry to hear that, myte", consoles the PM as the English team 
`Swing Low' out on to the field, "So - no-one else in the family's 
into Rugby ?"

"Nah, myte", Platypus brightens up as the Wallabies race out to 
the strains of `Walzing Matilda', "They're all at the funeral...."

:-|
 
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