From: "Christine M. Faltz" 
Subject: Re: call for discussion -- h*lp!
Thanks Barbar and Al for your responses.  Al, how far does one carry the
nonjudgmental, accepting approach?  Without judgment in certain
circumstances, especially where saying nothing can be harmful, perhaps for
a lifetime, there are no standards.
How accepting should I be when children of parents with proper
information, who should know better, manifest socially inappropriate
behavior such as incessnt 'blindisms'?  How accepting should one be when
the stigma of being labeled 'blind' is more significant and worrisome than
eyestrain, headches, performance in school (and later on the job) that is
below ability because the person doesn't want to use techniques that
'only' blind people use?  How accepting can a leader be when criticism is
leveled behind her back, not allowing for frank open discussion of the
issues, not allowing for growth and a proper sense of trust and community?  
At one point does one take a stand?  And since this group is part of the
NFB, how accepting must one be despite the harm it could do the work the
organization is trying to do in changing what it means to be blind?
I'm not trying to find reasons to be 'militant' -- I'm trying to find the
right, or at least a reasonable balance, between tough, no-nonsense
leadership and gentle, loving guidance?  I'm at a point where I am
starting to wonder if I simply am not personally a good leader; perhaps a
more politically savvy person could get through to more of the parents.
Perhaps I allow my desire to prevent the heartaches and difficulties I had
as a child for the kids interfere with my need to be flexible.  But I have
barely said anything in the face of a chapter which displays nothing
Federationist except its name.  We offer annually the opportunity to go to
conventions and give a reasonable amount of financial assistance; no one
went this year; there was no interest.  No interest in the state
convention; virtually no interest in going to the national center.  Part
of it is complacency, because NY has a pretty good service record for
blind children, as compared with many other places.  I could ramble on,
but you get the idea.  One thing that bothers me the most is an almost
hostile not-in-my-backyard attitude toward multiply-disabled blind
children.  
Christine
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