That's interesting about hawks following you; however, is it safe to 
discuss this here?  If you know how to initiate net mail, we might be 
better off discussing it there. On 12 steps one of the co-moderators is
having a bird - no pun intended - because I am replying to off-topic 
messages.  (Of course she also refuses to tell me HOW to use netmail - 
telling me to ask my sysop, which I've done and he is trying to find 
out for me - the one on Keystone - but hasn't been able to get back to 
me fast enough for her.  So much for the idea of asking for help, huh? 
)  Anyway, the long and short of it is I have decided to opt to stay 
off that echo since I got what I perceive as a very unfriendly reply.
I don't want to end up unwelcome on this echo too and that is what I 
feel the case is there.  To be honest with you, I've just about had it 
with BBSing period over this type of power plays that make someone who 
is not a computer professional and/or a hacker par excellence feel 
entirely unwelcome because of their lack of skills.
Between this and what I've seen of late at my AA group - with a couple 
of elder statemen taking over the group and the rest of the group being
so apathetic that they allow this lest they have to do any work.  To be
honest with you, I'm at the point of writing off twelve step programs 
altogether.  People SAY they care, but when I ask for help I find that 
their talk is very cheap.  I have to go to this group, because I don't 
drive and it's accesible by bus, since most AA members in our area 
won't give anyone a ride - not even people they KNOW are disabled.  I 
am sick and tired - literally - of asking for help, as they tell you to
do, only to find the caring people claim to have is theory and not 
practise.
Talk is cheap.  I wish that I knew people who cared enough to walk the 
walk and HELP people who are grabbing at straws - or modems - in a 
desperate attempt to stay in touch with recovery.
I'd love to discuss some of our mutual beliefs, but I don't dare to 
after this - anyway, it's been MY experience that anyone who REALLY has
a Higher Power that is not the conventional GOD of the churches, is 
welcome only in theory or if they keep their mouth shut about it.  
Other folks can bring up their Higher Power by name - use the words 
Jesus Christ when they talk like they're name dropping - but, at least 
around here, let someone else mention the Godess and people go 
BALLISTIC.  I have a friend with almost thirty YEARS sober who only 
goes to another 12 step program now because AA was so unfriendly.
All in all I am profoundly discouraged and hurt right now.  I doubt I 
will answer many messages on here either anymore.  I don't want to 
believe people on here would do this to me, but I also believed this 
woman was my friend - besides being a comoderator - and when I ask her 
for help all she can say is go ask the sysop.  Well I have asked the 
sysop.  But the sysop also has a life and it's not on her time-table, 
unfortunately.  In fact the sysop in question has his own problems and 
is going through some changes too right now.  Having been a cosysop, I 
know what that's like - people think one does not have a life outside 
of the boards, but most of us do.
As you can see, I am profoundly hurt and discouraged right now by 
people in the program.  If it was anyone besides you, I probably 
wouldn't even reply.  And I hope you won't take this personally.  It's 
not you I am upset with, it is me because I am so stupid on the darn 
infernal machine - alias this computer.
Thanks for listening.  Please reply in netmail.  I suspect that and the
survivors conferences are the only place I'll be posting.  
--- TriToss (tm) Professional 1.0 - (Unregistered)
---------------