From: Barbara Freeman 
Subject: Re: call for discussion -- h*lp!
Hi Christine:
	I have been a member of the POBC since it was founded and have a
seven year old blind,retarded daughter.  First of all you must remember
that for the most part parents and not going to live up to the same
expectations that we hold our adult members to.  They do not not see their
child as part of a minority and they are not their for the group they are
there for their child first.  Many will come and go taking a small part of
what we can teach them and not realize that their is so much more we can
offer them.  
	Many of these parents are still afraid of blind adults and if you
even get them to a social gathering with blind adults you are doing well.  
	We are not for everyone and should not be.  We are the best and we
expect the best from our kids and that is very hard for some parents to
handle.  It has been for me because my adopted daughter is retarded.  
	I guess if you have the time pick out a few parents who seem to be
trying to be active and concentrate on getting to know them and their
family as people first and be laid back as you can stand to be about what
the NFB believes about this and that for a while.  If they stay they will
want to know and you will have time to explaine it to them.  
	All this advice is from a person who is amoung the least tacfull
in the movement.  This is hard advice to follow.  
	Barbara Cheadel once said to me that there is great power in just
"Taking them in and loving them"
barbie@pacifier.com
The Mom from heck
On Fri, 29 Aug 1997, Christine M. Faltz wrote:
> 
> 
> I am president of the local POBC division.  The parents for the most part
> try hard to distance themselves from a good deal of Federation philosophy
> -- braille for all blind children; they think it's just fine to take
> advantage of discounts and going to the front of the line at amusement
> parks; etc.  
> Just tonight, I was told by the former president (sighted) that nother
> parent had sid that I alienate parents with kids who are 'not really
> blind, but visually impaired' by always using the word blind for all the
> kids.  Needless to say, this is insulting to me as a blind person and
> there are the usual implications: what subtle and explicit messages does
> this send to her child?  What does it say for her ttitude toward me and
> other blind people?  What does it say about her inability to even address
> the topic wityh me?  And most importantly, how should I address it?
> I am increasingly frustrated with this group.  
> 
> Theydon't wnt to work to change entrenched agency problems becaus they
> don't wnt to make waves.  Theysugar-coat problems the blind community has
> with the agencies and spend more time and effort on our social gtherings
> than instilling positive attitudes and high expectations in their
> children, and they seem to prefer to address their concerns to the sighted
> parents.  I worry tht perhaps I am being too soft on them, then think
> perhps I'm alienating them because theyneed a slower evolution toward a
> positive hilosophy.  I am concerned tht even though I attempt always to be
> diplomtic, my annoyance, frustration, and yes, anger is coming through.
> Many of these parents hve made truly elitiest remarks toward the prents of
> totally blind kids; they seem to be bent on n "us and them' mentality.
> Suggestions are greatly needed. 
> Christine
> 
> 
> 
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