4. HALF A LIFETIME AGO
   by Robert J. Cruze Jr. 
   Special to TLE

One month ago I turned 32. Just think; half a lifetime ago, I was only 16.
I think about that age every so often, and about how much I've changed,
particularly when it comes to what I used to believe back then -- more
precisely, what I was told to believe.

I believed that our country could do no wrong, and when it did do wrong, it
did so for all the right reasons.

I believed that politicians were basically honest and decent folks. After
all, they wouldn't be voted into office otherwise.

I believed my teachers always knew more than I did; they'd have to be in
order to be teachers, right?

I believed that authority figures in general were more competent and moral
than the rest of us -- how could they attain positions of authority
otherwise?

I believed that we were a free people because our government _allowed_ us
be free, out of the goodness of its heart, and was perfectly justified in
taking that freedom away in times of "national emergency" or
"crisis."

I believed that our government would never deliberately harm it's own citizens.

I also believed that when the politicians talked about some kind of
"crisis." it really was a crisis (ditto for "national
emergency").

I believed the President, the Commander-in-Chief, would never put American
military personnel in harm's way abroad in order to draw attention away
from uncomfortable issues at home (the movie "Wag the Dog" was
still over a decade in the future).

I believed that the government had a responsibility to protect us from
ourselves -- even if it was from something we were doing with our full
consent.

I believed that there was such a thing as a free lunch.

I _didn't_ believe that, day in, day out, the news media was bombarding me
with half-truths, outright lies, and statistics, all in the guise of
"facts," in order to manipulate me and shape my beliefs. I also
didn't believe that our self-appointed "guardians of the First
Amendment" had their own political agendas.

I believed that a celebrity's opinion on a political issue held more weight
than a non-celebrity's opinion -- after all, if someone can read a cue card
without drooling, they must know what they're talking about, right?

I believed that authority should be respected.

There were several contradictory beliefs I held, but was unable to see the
contradictions until I was older...

I believed that FDR was the greatest President we ever had, because, in a
time of "crisis," he illegally seized control of the nation's
economy, ramped up the military-industrial complex, and manipulated public
opinion to squash his opposition. On the other hand, I believed Hitler was
the most evil leader of the 20th century because, in a time of
"crisis," he illegally seized control of his nation's economy,
ramped up the military-industrial complex, and manipulated public opinion
to squash his opposition.

I believed that when federal agents abused their authority and acted
outside the Constitution, they were "just doing their jobs." Yet,
I believed that the Nuremberg tribunal acted correctly when they ruled that
"just following orders" was not an acceptable defense.

I believed that it was a travesty of justice in Iron Curtain countries when
people would be dragged from their homes in the middle of the night because
they chose, of their own free will, to practice a politically unacceptable
religion or political belief in the privacy of their own home. Conversely,
I had no problem with the DEA serving "no knock" warrants in the
middle of the nights, dragging people from their homes because they chose,
of their own free will, to smoke some politically unacceptable grass in the
privacy of their own home.

I had a lot of half-baked beliefs when I was 16, but fortunately, by the
time I turned 17, I started to develop doubts, which led to questions. I
also developed a small, but vital sense of cynicism -- that prevented me
from accepting non-answers like "because we say so." Over the
next 16 years, I threw question after question at these beliefs and
crumbled them away. Events like Waco and Ruby Ridge helped scatter the
crumbs. Also, because so many of these beliefs they pound into your head
when you're young are interconnected, when one falls away, it weakens the
others that much more. Needless to say, I no longer believe these things.

I'm glad I'm not 16 anymore ...

---