...

EH>>Exactly. My friends have become closer to each other and God from
raising Ia
EH>>He is always included in church activities and all who have
contact with him
EH>>love him. He is always holding babies and playing with the little children.

 VH> I just noted a chat where a woman wants to adop (the child
 VH> is theirs for the asking) and the husband says no.  My
 VH> contribution was, "In time, you will come to love the
 VH> child.  But if you do not adopt it, there will never be a
 VH> time when your wife will not regret that you stopped her."

 Vern, I don't give a damn what you think of my politics, or of
 me, and I think you know what I think of you. However, you
 should recognize I do know more about adoption than you do. And
 this is important enough to cross post where I expect you will
 see it.

 Your advice is absolutely the worst.

 It is possible the man may come to love the child, it is also
 possible he may come to resent, or even hate, the child. Unless
 you have some close knowledge of the man involved, enough to be
 certain he would want the child, it is bad advice.

 If the adoption agency finds out that is his choice, if it's any
 good, I guarantee they will not get that child. Only a totally
 incompetent agency will place a child with a family that is not
 unanimous in wanting the child.

 No matter what the woman's point of view, putting a child at
 that risk is about the worst thing I can think of you can do
 unless the child is such a special needs child as it is
 desperately necessary. In which case, it's more likely the man
 will not come to love the child, and the woman should consider
 being a single mother.

 Children are not gambling chips.


BOB KLAHN bob.klahn{at}sev.org   http://home.toltbbs.com/bobklahn

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