-=> Quoting Sharon Coyne to Sean Rima on 01-20-05  16:03 <=-

 >> Someone has to be nice to the kids since it is the parent's job to
 >> discipline them. :-)
 SR> My mother is a pain as she favours one of the kids over the other 4
 SR> which is not good but she fails to see the damage she does.

    (...)
 SC> I am closer to my oldest grandson I guess because him and I sit and
 SC> talk a lot. My granddaughter is too busy with her life for that even at
 SC> 11. Of course, the baby comes running to me now to give me a hug. Yep,
 SC> he is walking. I think though there might be a difference in being
 SC> close to someone than favoring them. What do you think?

Playing favorites is a lot different than being closer to one over
another.  Closeness is more a result of having interests or such in
common...   My late mother-in-law was a good example of being closer to
some than to others, yet never playing favorites.  When it came to doing
things for her children, including spouses, or for her grandchildren,
she was open-handed with all of them.  Yet she didn't feel like she
could talk to her other daughter-in-law as she could with me, she
couldn't sit and stitch with her, or go off on genealogy trips, etc.  I
don't think that Margit ever felt like she was playing favorites by
spending the time with me, though, as those were things that Margit
wasn't interested in.  Mom would step in with the grandsons to make sure
that they were getting the good attention that they needed, if she
thought that they might be getting neglected (particularly the
youngest), but I think that all 3 of them felt equally close to her, in
their different ways.  I know my son was particularly close to her.

ttyl         neb

... In a tug of war, the rope loses.

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