From: "Mark" 

''How many art-history majors does one
country need?"

LOL

"Frank Haber"  wrote in message
news:41b0739e$1{at}w3.nls.net...
> email received today
>
> ====
> Canadian Government Cracking Down on Illegal Immigration of U.S. Liberals
>
> The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has
> intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop
> the
> illegal immigration.
>
> The reelection of President Bush is prompting the exodus among left
> Leaning
> citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray and agree with
> Bill
> O'Reilly.
>
> Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology
> professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields
> at
> night.
>
> ''I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood
> producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose
> acreage borders North Dakota.
>
> The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry.
>
> ''He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I
> said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my
> screenplay, eh?"
>
> In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences,
> but
> the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush
> Limbaugh across the fields.
>
> ''Not real effective," he said. ''The liberals still got through, and Rush
> annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk."
>
> Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals
> Near
> the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them
> Across
> the border and leave them to fend for themselves. ''A lot of these people
> are
> not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. ''I
> found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice
> little Napa Valley cabernet, though."
>
> When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often
> wailing
> loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been
> circulating about the Bush administration establishing reeducation camps
> in
> which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR.
>
> In the days since the election, liberals have turned to sometimes
> ingenious
> ways of crossing the border.
>
> Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap
> Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans
> disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began
> stopping
> buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers. ''If they can't
> identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious
> about their age," an official said.
>
> Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating
> an
> organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies.
>
> ''I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't
> support them," an Ottawa resident said. ''How many art-history majors does
> one
> country need?"
>
> In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice
> President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that
> The
> administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to
> Cheney
> said.
>
> ''We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put
> some
> endangered species on postage stamps. The president is determined to reach
> out."
>
>
> --
>
> -Frank
>

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