From: Ellen K. 

I got it too but I think it's the left that's circulating it, note the
Homeland Security tie-in.

On Wed, 19 Jan 2005 09:10:39 -0500, "Frank Haber"
 wrote in message :

>I got this twice in email, so it must be touching a nerve, even in all-Marxist
>NYC:
>
>===
>
>Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.  May I have your national ID
>number?
>
>Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an order.
>
>Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir.
>
>Customer: My National ID Number? Yeah, hold on, uh, it's 6102049998-45-54610.
>
>Operator: Thank you Mr. Sheehan.  I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive,
>and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln
>Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell phone number is 266-2566. Email address
>is sheehan{at}home.net. Which number are you calling from sir?
>
>Customer: Huh? I'm at home.  Where'd you get all this information?
>
>Operator: We're wired into the HSS, sir.
>
>Customer: The HSS, what is that?
>
>Operator: We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add
>only 15 seconds to your ordering time.
>
>Customer: (sighs) Oh well,  I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat
>Special pizzas.
>
>Operator: I don't think that's a good idea, sir.
>
>Customer: Whaddya mean?
>
>Operator: Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that
>you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your
>National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice.
>
>Customer: What?!?!  What do you recommend, then?
>
>Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza.  I'm sure you'll like it.
>
>Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like that?
>
>Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local
>library last week, sir.  That's why I made the suggestion.
>
>Customer: All right, all right.  Give me two family-size ones, then
>
>Operator: Good choice. That should be plenty for you, your wife and your
>four kids. Your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99.
>
>Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number.
>
>Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your
>credit card balance is over its limit.
>
>Customer: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver
>gets here.
>
>Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your checking account is overdrawn
>also.
>
>Customer: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How
>long will it take?
>
>Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes,
>sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick them up while you're out
>getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little
>awkward.
>
>Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?
>
>Operator: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car
>got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank
>yesterday.
>
>Customer: Well, I'll be a #%#^^&$%^${at}#
>
>Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July
>4, 2003, conviction for cussing out a cop and another one,  I see here,  in
>September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge. Oh yes, and
>I see here that you just got out from a 90-day stay in the State
>Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to
>society?
>
>Customer: (speechless)
>
>Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?
>
>Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke.
>
>Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ads exclusionary clause prevents us from
>offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this.
>
>Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.

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