In article ,
 dg411{at}FreeNet.Carleton.CA (Andre Lieven) wrote:
>  (mark_sobolewski{at}yahoo.com) writes:
> > Andre Lieven wrote:

Priviet Andre,

> > This is somewhat useful advice but note that the man says he doesn't
> > want children.  If he goes through families, he may get more stable
> > women who want children later, but he'll still probably wind up with
> > women who will eventually press him for them.
>
> Well, thats still a bit better than getting an undatable woman.

It's an important distinction because if he truly doesn't
want children later, he'll need to modify his expectations.

One of the busted myths of the sexual and feminist revolution
was that women were "denied" casual sex by the big bad
patriarchal men and the pill liberated women to enjoy
the "sex and the city" lifestyle.

The fact is that most women want kids.  Even women who
are bad with them (unfortunately.)  Most women do not
enjoy casual and serial sexual encounters at least
on a lifetime basis.

> > Perhaps he doesn't want older biological clock tickers who want
> > children IMMEDIATELY and have questionable motives and morals.
>
> Sure, who does ?

I was thinking that such women are salvagable similar to
men who pick up those great microwave ovens by the dumpster.
(OK, I'm one of them.  Did you ever see the capacitor
in those things? :-)

There is something to be said for the situation: She's
desperate and for men who may not be "grade A" material,
it's a bargain market.  He would have to be careful
just like anytime you pick up discarded goods, but
the potential is there.

In some ways, such women are at least better than arrogant
slightly younger women whose clocks haven't yet gone off
and are just wasting the man's time.

> > Also, he says he sees the childless women as independent but
> > what does he expect?  If they have remained childless up until
> > now, should he be surprised?!?!
>
> Indeed. While one might be able to say that not coupling up by,
> say, 30, doesn't show that one cannot, but by 40...

30 is reasonable because a lot of people may have personal
issues that take a while to sort out (I did.)  But for
women especially, 40 is old maid material.

> > He has to be willing to compromise.  Fortunately, he's in a good
> > position demographically.  He can have sex with a lot of these
> > independant women he may meet through bars, dances,
> > museum openings, etc. and provided he wears a condom,
> > be somewhat emotionally safe.  OR... he can date 40 year old
> > divorcees who have grown children.  They are out there.
>
> Sure. Based on what he said, though, he'd do better by avoiding
> women who have set their own life patterns such that no man can
> fit in with her.

In some ways, as I said, this may be good because he'll be safe.
They won't try to cling to him.  You know what "Chef" says
about prostitutes being paid for...

> Believe me, I've seen this syndrome, up close...
>
> > He's JUST old enough that there are some women his age
> > ready to be grandmothers.  That sounds icky, but he gets
> > the best of both worlds as he would describe it:
> > Women who aren't too independant but at the same time
> > don't want more children.
>
> Exactly, and thats the key: Women who aren't too independent.
>
> > There are also women who are sterile and open about the fact.
>
> As long as they're not that too independent...

It may not be their fault.  Some women just have that
problem.  I saw a personal ad 4 years ago from such a woman
and she appeared quite pleasant but I'm planning to have
a family.

> > They would welcome a man such as him that wants the
> > companionship of a woman but doesn't want children.
>
> Yes, that could work. See my aboves...  

regards,
Mark Sobolewski


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