rdubose{at}pdq.net wrote:
> bluesmama wrote:
> > mark_sobolewski{at}yahoo.com wrote:
> > > bluesmama wrote:
> >
> > > > A man who does not take responsibility for his own seed, and
> leaves
> > > > that responsibility to someone else, when he does not want to
> > father
> > > a
> > > > child, is stupid. Trust, or lack of trust, has nothing to do
with
> > it.
> > >
> > > But that's what trust _IS_.  It's about believing someone's elses
> > > word that they won't betray you.  It's about believing in their
> > > morality and their abilities.
> >
> > What I'm saying is that responsibility is one thing, and
"trusting"
> > someone else to take over your own responsibility and make it
theirs,
> > is something else entirely.
>
>    Let me put it this way. If a person tells another person that they
> can be trusted in a matter ie, "I cannot get pregnant, fire away" she
> certainly has taken on a responsibility for the truth of it. She
could
> always say "maybe" or "I am not sure," etc. if
that is truer. She
> chooses in this case to say certain misleading things to get what she
> wants. She is not forced to give false reassurances to the guy.
>    The guy here would not have skirked a responsibility. He merely
> would have believed what his "lover" told him.
>    All criminal fraud has these elements. One could, I suppose toss
all
> of these laws out because "people should know better than to trust
> anybody with anything".     A feminist paradise.
>     Of course, without a good quality video tape it will always be
> possible to deny such conversations. But that is a dfferent question.


Put it whatever way you want. Unless the guy knows for sure that HE is
shooting blanks, he is responsible for his semen and its possible
impregnating effects. The guy here "would not have shirked his
responsibility"? Bullshit. It's his seminal fluid, not hers.

Should he be able to trust the woman he's sleeping with? Well, that all
depends on the situation. If she's a one night stand he picks up at the
bar, he can probably trust her as much as she trusts him - so when he
says "Hey, I'll call you" as he wipes himself off and saunters out her
front door, his claim to call is probably just as trustworthy as her
claims that "It's okay, I can't get pregnant, don't worry."

If he does know her and they're in a romantic partnership of some kind,
legally recognized or not, then you would hope he could trust her. But,
sadly, people fall in love and sleep with untrustworthy people every
day, and most of them don't know it until it's too late.

You trust someone, you take a risk on your reading of their
trustworthiness. Some people have bad built-in bullshit detectors.
They're the ones sending their bank information off in e-mails. I take
a risk trusting my husband because I believe in him, and I believe in
him because he's proven his trustworthiness to me. I believe that he's
worthy of my trust, but then again, I think he's worth more than all
the men I've met in my life, except for my father, of course.

I'm not saying that anyone who trusts is stupid. I AM saying that
Person A who trusts Person B to take care of something that is Person
A's responsibility is taking a risk, and has to be responsible for the
choice he or she has made.



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