Mark Sobolewski wrote:
> In article ,
>  "bluesmama"  wrote:
>
> > rdubose{at}pdq.net wrote:
> > > bluesmama wrote:
> > > > mark_sobolewski{at}yahoo.com wrote:
> > > > > bluesmama wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > > A man who does not take responsibility for
his own seed,
and
> > > leaves
> > > > > > that responsibility to someone else, when he
does not want
to
> > > > father
> > > > > a
> > > > > > child, is stupid. Trust, or lack of trust,
has nothing to
do
> > with
> > > > it.
> > > > >
> > > > > But that's what trust _IS_.  It's about believing someone's
elses
> > > > > word that they won't betray you.  It's about believing in
their
> > > > > morality and their abilities.
> > > >
> > > > What I'm saying is that responsibility is one thing, and
"trusting"
> > > > someone else to take over your own responsibility and make it
> > theirs,
> > > > is something else entirely.
> > >
> > >    Let me put it this way. If a person tells another person that
they
> > > can be trusted in a matter ie, "I cannot get pregnant,
fire away"
she
> > > certainly has taken on a responsibility for the truth of it. She
> > could
> > > always say "maybe" or "I am not sure,"
etc. if that is truer. She
> > > chooses in this case to say certain misleading things to get what
she
> > > wants. She is not forced to give false reassurances to the guy.
> > >    The guy here would not have skirked a responsibility. He
merely
> > > would have believed what his "lover" told him.
> > >    All criminal fraud has these elements. One could, I suppose
toss
> > all
> > > of these laws out because "people should know better than to
trust
> > > anybody with anything".     A feminist paradise.
> > >     Of course, without a good quality video tape it will always
be
> > > possible to deny such conversations. But that is a dfferent
question.
> >
> >
> > Put it whatever way you want. Unless the guy knows for sure that HE
is
> > shooting blanks, he is responsible for his semen and its possible
> > impregnating effects. The guy here "would not have shirked his
> > responsibility"? Bullshit. It's his seminal fluid, not hers.
> >
> > Should he be able to trust the woman he's sleeping with? Well, that
all
> > depends on the situation. If she's a one night stand he picks up at
the
> > bar, he can probably trust her as much as she trusts him - so when
he
> > says "Hey, I'll call you" as he wipes himself off and
saunters out
her
> > front door, his claim to call is probably just as trustworthy as
her
> > claims that "It's okay, I can't get pregnant, don't worry."
> >
> > If he does know her and they're in a romantic partnership of some
kind,
> > legally recognized or not, then you would hope he could trust her.
But,
> > sadly, people fall in love and sleep with untrustworthy people
every
> > day, and most of them don't know it until it's too late.
> >
> > You trust someone, you take a risk on your reading of their
> > trustworthiness. Some people have bad built-in bullshit detectors.
> > They're the ones sending their bank information off in e-mails. I
take
> > a risk trusting my husband because I believe in him, and I believe
in
> > him because he's proven his trustworthiness to me. I believe that
he's
> > worthy of my trust, but then again, I think he's worth more than
all
> > the men I've met in my life, except for my father, of course.
> >
> > I'm not saying that anyone who trusts is stupid.
>
> But that's precisely what you're saying.  Now it's time for
> you to back out of it:
>
> > I AM saying that
> > Person A who trusts Person B to take care of something that is
Person
> > A's responsibility is taking a risk, and has to be responsible for
the
> > choice he or she has made.
>
> Unless she dumps off the child legally or uses her to collect
> welfare.
>
> regards,
> Mark Sobolewski

Do mothers abandon their children as often as men do? I know of more
absentee Dads than I do absentee Moms.

And as far as welfare goes, the "payoff" isn't all that much compared
to the effort required in raising a child.

The trust/responsibility thing: we obviously will not see eye to eye on
this, so we might as well consider the subject closed, and each
continue to believe we're right.



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