My latest brush with a Customs bureaucrat was when I went to Buffalo to
buy an Autohelm instrument. I declared it and paid the requisite duty
before returning to my car.
A lady Customs officer was waiting for me and I presented her with my
receipt. "But where's the rest of the stuff/" she demanded and then
insisted on going over my car from end to end.
Eventually, she noticed a Marks and Spencer bag on the front passenger
seat, opened it and found a package of three pairs of underpants.
What's this?" she demanded, a note of triumph in her voice. I explained
the package was beng returned as the contents were the wrong size. As
she looked at me suspiciously, I added that they were too small. At
that, I believe I detected a suspicion of a blush.
But she did not give up that easily. "Where's the receipt?" she asked. I
explained I did not have it with me. A bad move.
"So you can't prove you bought them in Canada then?" she snapped.
"If you look at them," I replied," you'll see the labels on them and the
package they are in are both printed on both official languages."
She then gave up and surlily told me I could go.
Maybe she's still there on guard for Canada.
The incident contrasts vividily to another when I went to the US last
winter with my golden retriever sitting in the back seat in full view of
anyone looking at my car. The animal could have had rabies and goodness
knows what else. But no questions were asked about vaccination, etc.,
only about whether I had bought any booze while in the States.
I could have had drugs, illegal immigrants, firearms and who knows what
else but booze was the only thing the officer was interested in.
Puritanism is alive and well in the Land of the Maple Leaf. Yessir!
 * S2S Toronto, Ontario  (416) 975-1547
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