Mark Sobolewski wrote:
> In article ,
>  "bluesmama"  gets up on a
pulpit and says:
>
> > What I said was that the most important things in life - things
such as
> > love, self-confidence, supportive family, true friends, inner
balance
> > (just in case you can't think of any) can neither be built nor
bought.
> >
> > Though I suppose if you don't mind deluding yourself, you can use
money
> > to rent facsimiles.
>
> That's all very nice and good, but I think you admitted that
> you expected the man whose currently the love in your life
> to produce money for the privilege of seeing you.
>
> So apparently, his love for you wasn't worth risking
> your own bankroll.  At least that's what I think I heard.
> Am I mistaken?
>
> regards,
> Mark Sobolewski

I have no idea what post you're referring to, but I'm quite sure you
have mistaken me for someone else.

I've supported myself financially. I've supported myself and a daughter
financially. Now, I'm a stay-at-home mother of two, financially
supported by my husband. So I'm aware of the responsibilities involved
in being the financial provider, and of the responsibilities involved
in being financially provided for.

Scoff if you like, but there ARE responsibilities involved in being
financially provided for, IF you're aware of them and dedicated to
living up to them. My husband works hard both for his own support and
satisfaction, and for our support. That's the choice he made, and made
willingly. He gets fulfillment from being competent at his work, and
talks with pride about providing for his family.

I gave up a job I loved, as well as the country I was born in and lived
in for almost 4 decades, and agreed to remain at home with our children
until they were in school. Being a wife and mother is a job like any
other, if you take it seriously, and has both perks and drawbacks, just
like a paid job.

I might get to take a nap in the afternoon some days, but he gets
regular coffee and lunch breaks - and he doesn't have two children
hanging on his leg while he drinks his coffee or goes to the bathroom.

I spend whole days outside, gardening, reading, going for nature walks,
playing with the kids - some days are very enjoyable. He gets a regular
paycheck, profit-sharing, adult conversation, acknowledgment from
co-workers, and a feeling of purpose. He enjoys providing for us as
much as I enjoy providing a happy home and emotional support for him
and the kids - some days it's harder to be enthusiastic about work (his
or mine), but that's the deal we made, and the good times outnumber the
bad by far.

Then there are the days when the kids are sick, or cranky, or fighting,
there are all those diapers and endless verses of "Deep in the Heart of
Texas" sung to distract them...my days may not be dangerous, but they
can be stressful, monotonous, and unappreciated - and if you've never
been home with children for any length of time, then you have no idea
how much you can miss regular adult interaction, and the satisfaction
that comes from a job well done. Whatever I do, my kids undo. But
they're growing and learning while they're making me crazy, so that's
my sacrifice - my husband's sacrifice is paying for our room and board.
It evens out, as far as we're concerned - and seeing how our
relationship is nobody's business but our own, our concerns are all
that matter.

Yes, this is yet another anecdote, no quotes, no citations, no studies,
no proof. And yes, I'm sure there are as many women who see men as
walking ATMs as there are men who see women as walking pussy-support
systems; they're quite welcome to each other. I prefer a real man, and
an honest relationship, however politically incorrect it might be.



--- UseNet To RIME Gateway {at} 4/3/05 1:00:36 PM ---