Sean,

 SD>      Q: Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
 SD>      A: Because every play has a cast.

  The truth of that is that they believe wishing someone "good luck" is
actually bad luck. That's why they say "break a leg"...and having been
in theatre arts (drama) in high school and college, I can verify that.
I'm also a life member of The International Thespian Society...named
after the Greek actor Thespis.

  No, I did NOT say "The International Lesbian Society"...but like GOLF
originally stood for "Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden", this turnabout
is foreplay (pun intended). 

 SD>      I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just
 SD>      a kid.

  Talk about family neglect...one step at a time. 

 SD>      I visited my friend at his new house.  He told me to make myself at
 SD>      home.  So I threw him out as I hate having visitors.

  Fish and visitors stink after 3 days -- Benjamin Franklin.

 SD>      The guy who stole my diary just died.
 SD>      My thoughts are with his family.

  I think you may be on to something...but I need to think about this. ;)

 SD>      To the person who stole my antidepressants: I hope you're happy.

  I got my Preparation H and PoliGrip mixed up, but at least my gums don't
itch anymore. 

 SD>      Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
 SD>      A: To get away from Colonel Sanders.

  Two ladies were talking about the one's hen (named Henrietta, of course),
and one told the other "When she quits laying eggs, we'll kill her and eat
her".

  So, in the next picture, you see Henrietta in the checkout line at the
grocery store, and the cashier asks "Another 2 dozen eggs, Henrietta??".

  And, THAT'S why the chicken crossed the road. 

 SD>      "It is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to
 SD>         open your mouth and remove all doubt."

  In the old days, it was considered a miracle for an ass to speak. Now, it
would be one if one kept his mouth shut. 

Daryl

... I may not always be right, but I'm never wrong.
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