The options are...

1. Anton Meyer's going to return, but is in fact actually secretly a
martian in hiding in preparation to take out Tom Cruise during filming
of HG Wells' classic shot around the lanes where Fast Bikes tests its
bikes for wheelieability, but instead falls in love with a Lesbian Drug
Addict whose lover chopped up her previous two children to feed his
hamster and is thus distracted. When the Martians, for it is they,
realise the game is up, they blow up Bristol Poly and the Sportsman's
bar off Gloucester Road, and then go down into Easton where they're
stopped by Islamic extremists. The resulting death toll is coped with
admirably by Egg, who fancied Keira Knightly in Love Actually, because
he was out of range of the heat ray, singing rugby songs in the
Vittoria and the now defunct Steam Tavern, or Australian Bar, or
whatever.

2. Madness are injured in a fight while filming a remake of the famous
bar scene in the Young Ones, for Comic relief. A slave ship comes in,
and there's huge fighting in the docks. The death toll is high, but
fortunately due to an previously unknown residence of Christ on
Coldharbour Lane, his holy spirit cures everyone, for t'is nearly
easter.

3. Christopher Reeve is re-incarnated in as a baby girl which is
convenient because someone needs to jack up the ambulance, which has
been crashed by a man who didn't know his girlfriend was pregnant,
because she studiously avoided telling him until she knew someone would
interrupt her, or until she knew someone was going to beat him to death
on a railway track. Fortunately a nurse and her mother who'd both been
sleeping with the same paedeatric surgeon, managed to get over it in
time to witness a helicopter crash of a man and her Aussie bride on her
wedding day to allow her to return home to see her mother. Meanwhile a
foreigner doesn't realise motorbikes are allowed in buslanes over
there, and the police motorcycle stunt team become all crippled at an
incident in Bedminster. Fortunately they're then on hand in A&E to
collectively arrest Osama Bin Laden, when he pops in to have his
beard removed for comic relief, with Terrorists 'A', 'B', 'E', 'Do',
'Ray', 'Me', 'Fah' and 'I told you so'



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