I have got to tell you that it is IMPOSSIBLE for you to get some help 
for Abe - and I am talking here not only as a recovering alcoholic and 
addict with 8 years sober and clean or even as a member of Al-Anon.  I 
have also worked in the counseling staff of a detox at one time - so I 
have some professional experience also.  The only one who can help Abe 
is Abe - and I am sure a lot of other people here can confirm this to 
you.  An Alcoholic and/or a drug addict ONLY get sober and/or clean 
when they are darn good and ready.
In the meantime, your ways of relating to him may actually be making it
much easier for him to remain active in his substance abusing - i e to 
continue alcoholic drinking and/or abusing drugs.  Al-Anon can also 
teach you how NOT to do this - how to let him hit his bottom and get 
the help he needs if he is willing.    
There are also some books that might help you - they are the foundation
books for R.A. or relationships anonymous which is simillar to Al-Anon,
although not as widespread.  They will also help you see how you are 
part of the problem by your codependency.  The books are Women Who Love
Too Much and Letters From Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood.  
These books are superb!
One thing you should know, alcoholism (and addiction) is a disease - 
you didn't cause it, you can't cure it, (EVER) and you can't control it
(EVER).
It took me two alcoholic husbands and an alcoholic live-in before I 
realized that this REALLY is true and I REALLY needed to work Al-Anon 
as seriously as I do AA.  After a while - two years of celibacy 
included in this - I was able to meet and marry my current husband - a 
very nice man who doesn't drink ever due to his religious views and 
hasn't in almost 14 years today.  We have a good relationship.  There 
IS life after alcoholism and addiction - if we get out of our denial 
and stop kidding ourselves that we can "fix it".  Or that's what I had 
to do and almost everyone else I know of who is related to, married to,
living with or dating an alcoholic.
It is really hard to come to terms with this for me.  It is also hard 
to see people I once loved self-destructing.  But I have come to 
realize that they have free will and I have to respect their choices, 
while go on to live my life as best I know how.  In AA and Al-Anon this
is often spoken of as "Live and let live".  And I found that when I 
began to LIVE my own life, I could let them live their life as they 
chose - while protecting myself from any unacceptable behavior as 
necessary.
I am only telling you this because I wish someone had told ME this at 
nineteen.  I don't know if I'd have listened right away.  But at least 
the seed would have been planted and maybe I'd have gotten help sooner.
And if nobody else has told you this lately, you are loved - your 
Higher Power (whatever you believe in ) loves you and so do I and there
are a WHOLE family of people around the world in Al-Anon waiting to 
know and love you too if you decide to go that route, now or in the 
future.
you are never alone.
--- TriToss (tm) Professional 1.0 - #130
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