To: trekcreative{at}yahoogroups.com
From: "ronwaldyo "

Reply-To: trekcreative{at}yahoogroups.com

Garry Stahl  wrote:
> I just finished Forms Change.  First impressions?
> I really don't know. I need to think about it.
> I can definitely say I don't dislike, but I
> don't know if I like yet, and that is a
> good thing.  It left me thinking.

Being the first installment in the larger Dark Horizon story "Forms
Change" is a story where I had a lot of setting up to do and
characters to introduce.  As I look back on it I would probably change a
number of things and probably tighten things up a bit--- especially in the
first several chapters. I'm glad it left you thinking.  I see that as a
good sign.

> Orchids:
> A) The characters appear to have real
>   relationships.
> B) They are real people with real virtues
>   and flaws.

This to me is the most important thing I wanted to accomplish as I set out
to write these stories.  I'm glad you saw them as real people with real
virtues and flaws.  I frankly don't enjoy
characters that are so lofty they
seem to crap marble.

> C) You didn't neatly wrap up an ancient
>   mystery that from all I see shouldn't
>   be wrapped up.
> D) The ending was not expected, I like that.

The Ancient Mystery is a part of the overall storyline that will continue
to unfold. I'm glad you found the ending unexpected.

>
> Onions:
> A)  I have yet to see any reason for the
>      size of the Chamberlain.
> B)  I'm not really fond of dark conspiracy
>      stuff.  Initial impression is that you
>      have quite a bit going on..
> C)  Towards the end of the tale you have
>       a Stapleton come on, and explain things.
>       It jarred from the rest of the flow.
>        I question if that was truly necessary
>        to the flow of the tale.

The conspiracy stuff I realize might not be something that appeals to
everyone, but I hope that there will be enough other things going on for
those who don't like the conspiracies.

As far as the "Stapleton", I'm assuming you're referring to Dr.
Preston talking to the Captain toward the end.  I didn't really see any way
to show the characters deal with the information in the Doctor's exposition
other than have Preston in his lab disecting Ramirez's brain and having a
"eureka" kind of epiphany.  It was a bit of information I thought
would best be imparted by a short section of dialogue by the doctor.

> Questions
> A)  You are rough on your characters.
>     We seem to have quite a  concentration of
>      war crime victims on one ship.  Why?

The Captain and his wife were part of a crew that had been held as
prisoners during the Dominion War, so the two of them I'd count as one
case.  The only other person was the Science Officer Duncan Zachary.  His
case, while related to the war, was actually the result of a terrorist
splinter group not actually involved in the war.
I think the three of them are the only ones aboard the Chamberlain who you
might call war crimes victims.  Did I give the impression that someone else
was?

> B)  Does Jay Hailey use all your bullet
>       points too?

I've just about finished Jay's first Star Trek: Outwardly Mobile story.
(Which I find quite enjoyable.)  As to him "using all my bullet
points" I guess you'd have to ask him. :)

> C)  You are using the Progenitor idea.
>       What value do you see in that?

The Ancient Progenitor concept was one of the few real science fiction
ideas that expanded the Trek universe during the run of the Next
Generation.  It was one of those ideas I always wanted to hear more about.

As to the value in the Progenitor idea, I think it gets at the most basic
of questions that human beings have always tried to answer in our myths and
stories; "Who am I?" "Where do I come from?" "What
is my purpose?"

- - - - - - - - - - -

Thanks for your feedback on "Forms Change". I think only with
feedback can a writer discover what does and doesn't work in his/her
stories.
I appreciate your comments and questions and hope that you found the story
enjoyable and that you continue to read the further Dark Horizon stories.

Again, thank you.

-Michael Gray
Star Trek: Dark Horizon
http://hometown.aol.com/darkhrzn91701/main.htm





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