Jim wrote:
> Well guys, I admit it.  I made a mistake that I will learn from.  I
was
> corresponding with a 'career-oriented' single early 40's woman in
online
> dating.  I asked if she was interested in meeting one night after
work for a
> cup of coffee as she indicated she enjoys a good cup of coffee.  What
I had
> in mind was a starbucks, or something cheaper...nothing extravagant
as it
> was a first date. She said "Coffee or a drink sounds good".   So, we
agreed
> to meet near her office (in NYC)...  so she picked a restaurant that
caters
> to the Broadway musical crowd.  We get in and she orders a glass of
> wine....I was planning on a coffee, but to be social, I followed her
lead
> and had a glass of wine.  We exchanged pleasant conversation and the
bill
> arrived and being the man, I naturally offered to pay and she didn't
offer
> too much resistance to my magnanimous gesture.....anyways,   a glass
of wine
> is not cheap in NYC,  total damage with tip was 20 bucks.   A medium
cup of
> coffee at starbucks would have cost me a buck and a half, even if she

> ordered a latte or other fancy coffee beverage, it would have been a
5
> dollar proposition.  Needless to say, two days later, she thanked me
for the
> drink and subsequently informed me that she was not interested in me.
 It
> just rubbed me the wrong way...I asked her out for a cheap cup of
coffee and
> she turned it into an expensive glass of wine...she got her freebie
and made
> a fool out of me....never again!  A career feminist pig will never
take
> advantage of me again!  I've learned my lesson!

You asked her out, you pay. She asks you out, she should pay. Unless
you both - gasp! - talk about it and agree to go Dutch.

You want to go to Starbucks, insist on Starbucks. You made the date.
You give up your choice (for whatever reason, not wanting to start a
confrontation, not wanting to appear "cheap", hoping agreeableness will
lead to getting laid later, whatever) then you have to live with the
consequences.

No one can take advantage of you unless you let them.



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