From: sienna@yabbs
To: all@yabbs
Subject: Sex IV
Date: Mon Aug 22 13:00:26 1994

Here I am again...posting obnoxious things on sex....

For those who missed the first three...these exerpts are from a book by 
Jan King called "Hormones From Hell"

Today's Topic:  SEX AFTER 40


Myth:  Sex gets BETTER after 40.

Maybe for Jane Fonda, but for the rest of us, the following scene is the 
general rule:

The husband whines and complains bitterly: "Gee, dear, I can't remember 
when the LAST time we had sex was."

the wife shoots back: "Oh yeah? Well I CAN and that's why we aren't having 
it anymore!"

But take heart. Sex after 40 doesn't have to become a memory. It simply 
means changing the game plan a little to make accomodations for a
 body is going downhill faster than Jean Claude Killy. Women have to be on 
the alert for situations which have the potential for making their bodies 
appear in worse shape than they already are. We must pay attention to 
details like:


                              POSITION

After 40, a woman's main concern during sex is to display her body in the 
most flattering position available. This automatically eliminates the hope 
of ever assuming the superior role again during lovemaking, because it 
makes the face fall forward and just HANG there, jowls and all. This sight 
will take the starch out of the best of 'em. Also, lying flat on one's 
back has the dangerous potential of quadrupling the square footage of 
thigh spread; a sight so grotesque, your partner may keep the sheet pulled 
up to your chin.

We women are convinced that scientists will soon be isolating the 
"cellulite gene" that produces the devestating hormone responsible for 
lumping up all our body fat. But until they do, we'll have to monitor our 
body positions carefully!


                              LIGHTING

The older we get, the less light we desire on the lovemaking scene. 
Remember in your 20's when you made love in broad daylight, on beaches, in 
cars, and in the shower? After 40, ladies, we've got a lot more to hide 
than just our crow's feet. Our bedrooms will slowly make the transition 
from 60-watt flood bulbs, to 40-watt, to a nightlight, then finally to 
about half the candlepower generated by an elderly firefly. BY age 60, 
we're talking about a room so dark it can only be navigated by bats.


                                FOREPLAY

Do you remember that? He probably doesn't. Past 40, there is very little 
actual kissing going on in the bedroom. It takes too much time and saps 
too much of the energy necessary to complete the actual act. A common 
practice past 40 is for both partners to meet in the center of the bed, 
shake hands and get on with it.

Young women foolishly spend all of their time worrying about what kind of 
orgasm they are SUPPOSED to experience. The studies tell us all about the 
differences between the vaginal, clitoral, uterine, multiple, and most 
popular, the faked orgasm. But, by 40, women arent worried about having 
multiple orgasms...they are worried about haveing ANY orgasm. We are also 
paranoid in this day of AIDS and STD's. Men should never take it 
personally when a mature woman leaps out of bed just seconds after having 
sex and stays in the bathroom douching with Commercial Strength Lysol till 
dawn.




Enjoi,

Dee