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From: taylor@hplabsc.UUCP (Dave Taylor)
Newsgroups: net.sources.d
Subject: Re: Valspeak.
Message-ID: 
Date: Thu, 23-Oct-86 15:03:26 EDT
Article-I.D.: hplabsc.777
Posted: Thu Oct 23 15:03:26 1986
Date-Received: Fri, 24-Oct-86 00:48:11 EDT
References: 
Reply-To: taylor@hplabsc.UUCP (Dave Taylor)
Distribution: na
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Labs, Palo Alto, CA
Lines: 102

Adams Douglas posts ValSpeak again, and I think it's time for someone who
has really dealt with (and dated!) valley-people (the REAL valley - the
San Fernando Valley in CA) to speak up about what an abysmal translator
this thing is!

I mean, like I'm sooo shure!  Let's just look at some of these dumb
translations;

>" big"			printf(" bitchin'est");

Bitchin?  Can you say middle seventies?  No wayyyy....

>" car "			printf(" rod ");

Uh ohh...50s!  The Big Bopper ... the twist ... and cool rods ...

>" dirty"		printf(" grodie");

Fer shure!  A real valley phrase!  Yow!

>" gross"		printf(" grodie");

Sorry.  Valley people would, like, just USE gross.  Y'know?

>			switch(rand() % 6) {
>			case 0: printf("like, ya know, "); break;
>			case 1: printf(""); break;
>			case 2: printf("like wow! "); break;
>			case 3: printf("ya know, like, "); break;
>			case 4: printf(""); break;
>			case 5: printf(""); break;

Like can YOU say dumb coding?  I'm shure...I mean like why doncha just
code it like this, dude;

		switch (rand() % 6 ) {
		  case 0 : printf("Like, ya know, ");	break;
		  case 1 : printf("like wow! ");	break;
		  case 2 : printf("ya know, like, ");	break;
		}

and skip the gross 'printf("");' lines altogether?  Gross me out!

>" house"		printf(" pad");

Definite 50s.  NO-ONE calls their house a pad.  It's like passe'...I'm shure!

>" leave"		printf(" blow");

Surfer.  Not a real person at all...

>" man "			printf(" nerd ");

man = nerd?  I don't know WHERE this is from!  Jeeezzz.....

> printf(" if you're a Pisces "); break;

Zodiac?  Get REAL!!  Valley people don't use ZODIAC stuff.  It's not cool!

> printf(" if the vibes are right "); break;

VIBES?  Like I'm sooooo shure...

>" neat"			printf(" keen");

Another 50s ism...

>" nice"			printf(" class");

huh?  Like us guys don't understand this one at all...

>" want"			printf(" want");

That's too deep for me.  What an incredible mapping...software on the MOVE!

>"I like"		printf("I can dig");

I can DIG?  I can walk, but I can DIG?  We're talking serious ozone here, mon!

>"She "			printf("That fox ");

"That fox"?  I don't think so.  That's just a generic teenager phrase, and not
at all to do with the Valley!  I'm SHURE!

> printf(", oh, baby, "); break;

"Oh baby"?  More cheap drugs...

> printf("!  Gag me with a pitchfork!"); break;

A pitchfork?  That's, like, a RURAL thing, dude!  No way!!

So dja get a clue yet?  

	I gotta cruise and check out the latest fashions, so I'll catcha 
later!

					Humourously,

					   -- Dave Taylor   

					   ex-near-the-valley-dude-at-large